I closed my eyes and sampled the conversations in the salon around me, catching snippets of the minutiae of other people’s lives. Even if they had seen the video, it was a passing amusement before they moved on to the next thing on the internet.
My stylist came back and started rapidly applying the color. Her quiet competence was soothing to watch.
“How’s work?” she asked.
“It’s good!” I said with too much enthusiasm and she laughed. I laughed too, feeling a little less tense. “The viral stuff, the breakup, it’s all kind of overshadowed work for a while. But I’m doing a dinner for one of my favorite clients tonight.”
“Anyone I know?” she asked with a sly smile. Her clientele was as famous as mine, but we were both discreet about name-dropping.
“You might’ve heard of him…” I winked.
“You bitch…it’s Alex Chase, isn’t it?” she hissed.
My laugh confirmed her suspicions.
Alex Chase was one of the biggest movie stars in the world, and objectively one of the most beautiful people on the planet. He also just happened to be Zane’s brother, which meant that as much as I could appreciate his good looks, I’d never been attracted to him like that. He was beautiful like Zane but without whatever chemistry it was that drew me to his little brother. It was too weird even thinking about Alex like that.
He became one of my very first celebrity clients when I shifted how I wanted to spend my time and added private chef to my repertoire, still overseeing the rest of my businesses, but I wanted to get back into the actual cooking more. It was a new challenge and the change of pace I’d needed.
Working for Zane’s brother was weird for me when I’d first taken the job a few years earlier because Alex would occasionally mention him in passing or he’d be talking to someone on the phone while I was in the background and I’d be sure it was Zane on the other end.
Those moments of watching Alex’s face light up as he shared an inside joke with his brother or just caught him up on his life made me ache for the brother I’d lost when I was a kid.
At least Zane had that. If one of us was going to be lonely AF, it was me who deserved it.
There was no reason for our paths to cross simply because I was cooking for his brother.
After a while, I stopped thinking of Alex as Zane’s brother. And then a while after that, I stopped thinking of him as Alex Chase and he simply became my client, Alex.
Now, we’d worked closely together for long enough that he was more like a friend. A friend who’d asked me to prepare a dinner because his mom was in town.
I pulled out my phone and checked my email, reassured to find the guest list I’d asked a caterer friend in New York for.
I scanned it quickly, letting out a relieved sigh. Zane was a confirmed attendee for their gala, which meant he couldn’t possibly be at Alex’s house tonight because he was on the other coast.
Alex gave me a head count and dietary preferences, but there hadn’t been an appropriate way to get him to name exactly who’d be there when he didn’t offer the information. It wasn’t the first time I’d resorted to favors or gossip blogs to make sure I wouldn’t run into Zane.
I didn’t want him to think I was stalking him by working for his brother, but now that I’d admitted out loud in all its viral glory that I still had feelings for him, it was probably time to admit I’d been avoiding him out of self-preservation. Seeing him would hurt too much and make me wonder what could’ve been. I was too practical to play that game.
“All right,” my stylist said, gathering up the supplies on her tray. “You let that process and I’ll be back when it’s time to rinse.”
I picked up a magazine and mindlessly flipped through the pages, stopping and putting it down when I reached a spread of pictures speculating about Alex’s love life. Seeing gossip about your friends never got less weird. It must’ve been like going viral, but it happened every time you went to get coffee or, heaven forbid, tried to go on a date.
The music coming through the overhead speakers changed to a song I’d never heard before, a bluesy beat that had me fighting not to sway in my seat. Dancing would draw attention to myself and the last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself, but damn, that was a sexy beat.
The vocalist started to sing and I froze. That voice. The gravelly, soulful voice that haunted my every step was singing something I’d never heard before.
I couldn’t help sinking into the beauty of it, feeling like I was savoring some kind of illicit joy in secret. No one needed to know I was enjoying it. He’d certainly never know.
He’d released new music.
Zane.
His singing voice was unmistakable, low and gritty in all the best ways, and it was made for this song. I held my breath, anticipating each new line, when it finally clicked what the song was about.
I hope it haunts you still when you try to move on.
I hope you hear my voice when he sings you that song.
