I wanted to brush it aside and just tell him not to think about it too much, but that felt like I was hiding it from him. I needed him to really be okay with it, not just say he was okay with it.
“Prove it,” I said before I could think better of it.
He frowned. “I thought I was by letting you go.”
I took his hand. “Yeah, but you’ll glamorize it. Or you’ll block it out and pretend it’s not really happening. If we’re gonna keep doing this, I need to know you understand what you’re saying you’re okay with.”
He gestured between us. “And what isthis?”
There’d been an undercurrent of doubt with him ever since I’d balked at being introduced to his mom as his girlfriend, but I didn’t have an answer for him. I loved my work as an escort and wasn’t sure I ever wanted to give it up completely. I couldn’t turn away regulars because I was infatuated with a kid I shouldn’t have been contemplating a future with anyway.
And I couldn’t contemplate a future with a man who couldn’t love that part of me. I didn’t know how strongly I felt about it until that moment, but I didn’t want to be with a partner who could grin and bear it. I wanted to be with a man who was proud of me.
I hesitated. “Let’s talk about that after tonight.”
And what’s your plan if he loses his shit?
He hadn’t seemed bothered before, at the show when he thought I was going to spend the night with Bill, but that had been before…this. Before he looked at me likethat, before he’d stood up to my dad, before he’d become my best friend.
I had to know how it made him feel and could only think of one way to do a gut check.
“I’m meeting my client at the bar first. He likes the evening to feel like he picked me up at the bar and seduced me. There’s never any mention of it being planned or me being an escort.”
“Okay,” he said, looking thoughtful.
I said carefully. “You can sit at the bar and watch. You obviously won’t see what happens in private, but it should be enough to make it real. I don’t want it to feel like I’m sneaking around.”
He didn’t ask what I’d do if he wasn’t comfortable with it.
He just said, “Okay, let’s go,” and offered me his arm, unshakeable as ever.
* * *
As we madeour way through the casino towards the bar where I was scheduled to meet my client, Zane was mostly quiet. I felt tension in the air, but I couldn’t tell what kind of tension or who it was coming from. I might’ve been more nervous than he was, and that was ridiculous.
I was scared that if I opened my mouth, an anxious stream of nonsense was going to pour out, and I might say something I’d regret…so I kept it firmly shut.
His band had been the breakout success of ACL and the tidal wave I knew was coming for him had already started. He’d been recognized a few times already since we’d been back and I didn’t think he realized how quickly things were about to change.
People stared at him as we walked, but there was no way of knowing whether any of them recognized him or if it was just impossible not to stare at the 6' 5" gorgeous Viking in our midst.
Zane slowed our pace a little, but still didn’t say anything.
When we reached the final turn, he suddenly pulled me into a side hallway instead of leading us into the bar, and my stomach dropped.
He was going to beg me not to go, and in that moment I knew I was going to cancel on my client instead of hurting him.
And I hated myself for it.
Instead, he tugged me close and claimed my mouth for a deep, sensual kiss. It was over before I was ready for him to stop, but when he pulled back, he was smiling. “Needed one more to tide me over.”
“But you’re okay?” I asked, searching his expression.
His smile grew, but he shook his head. “We’ve been focused on how I feel about it. What about you? You’re not at all nervous it’s going to be different now that…”
He trailed off, but I knew what he was asking.
I tucked my fingers into the front pockets of his jeans and pulled his hips against mine. “Should I tell you my dirty secret?”
