He kissed us both and closed the bedroom door on the way out.
Kelly was trying to give me the chance to talk to Maia about what would happen when she went back to LA, but she didn’t need me to make a big thing of it on top of what she was already dealing with.
Not only was she leaving, she’d be facing this asshole by herself when she was back in LA and I was half a world away. I hated it.
“Was he always like this?”
Four years. He had four years with her and I only got ten days. It was a childish thought, but I couldn’t help thinking it.
She considered the question. “He was charming and funny when we first started dating. The All American dream guy. Successful, ambitious, arrogant in a way that was appealing at first. Having him want to be with me felt validating in some twisted way. He had me all tied up in knots with the head games he played and on some level I started to think he was better than me, like he was doing me some kind of favor by wanting to be with me.
“I went through this crisis where I realized I was approaching forty and was single and not planning on having kids and I wondered if that meant there was something wrong with me. I met him right around then when I was feeling sorta vulnerable and for a little while it just felt so good to pretend to benormal.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. I hope you’ve got that straight now.”
“This is going to sound ridiculous,” she said. “But it feels like I was under a spell for years, like I couldn’t see the truth that was right in front of my face until he sang your song and I thought of you and it was all suddenly so clear.” She nuzzled her head against my chest. “You might not be able to fix this for me now, but you saved me then without knowing it. Sometimes, when I’m trying to sleep, I think about how close I came to saying yes just to keep him happy and it kills me.”
“But you didn’t,” I said, squeezing her hand, scared to say more because I was choked up at what she’d just revealed.
He’d manipulated her and ripped her confidence into shreds until she was scared to trust her own judgment. I couldn’t fix that by manipulating her into staying with me. She’d done too many things out of obligation or to please someone else.
I couldn’t make her want a future with me.
She deserved to have everything she wanted, whatever she chose for herself. Even if it didn’t include me.
Fuck.
47
MAIA
Now
* * *
“If we’re heading back to Vegas for the awards show tomorrow, I’m going to book a flight home from there since I need to go back to work on Monday.”
How was our ten days already almost over? This wasn’t over. There was no closure between us, but I was no closer to seeing a solution to being together that made sense for both of us. One or both of us would need to upend our lives in order to made it work. Running away from it all to live in New Zealand sounded appealing, but neither of us would ever do it.
After the show the night before, Zane was exhausted, so I made him sleep instead of having another wild night with Kelly, but it felt like we’d lost that time and now there was only one more night in London before we flew to Vegas for two days.
After that, I had to go home, and Zane had to come back to the UK to continue the tour.
He stroked a thumb across my bottom lip. “You’re overthinking things. I can see it on your face. You’ve been civilized to death, baby girl. You have your high-powered job and your ultra-successful circle of friends and you do all the shit successful people are supposed to do. But the truth is…you want to be treated like the lowest fucking slut and I’m the only one who gives it to you.”
When I opened my mouth to argue, he pressed a hand over it.
He speared his fingers into my hair with his other hand and tugged hard, dragging me down to the floor in a heap. He pulled me this way and that until he’d settled me between his knees under the table. I started to reach for his belt buckle, exactly like the slut he said I was, but he trapped my hand on his thigh.
“You like to make everyone think you’re so prim and proper. So in control. But deep down? You’re a whore who just wants to be put in her place.”
He grasped my chin and slid his thumb between my lips when I parted them willingly for him. “The guys are coming for a meeting and you’re going to stay under that table while it’s happening. You want a job? You can be my cock warmer.”
His dismissive tone thrilled me, but I kept my face neutral. “You want me to suck your dick while you’re having a meeting?”
He narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t say cock sucker, did I? No, dirty girl. You don’t move. You don’t make a sound. Or you don’t get to come tonight.”
Someone rapped an elaborate knock on the door.
