“Do you want to stay here?” she asked casually. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. I was sure she had partners sleep over all the time. It was late enough to be early and we’d just been intimate. It made sense. And yet I wanted it to mean something more.
“I do.” I pushed my unfair expectations out of my mind and sought the joy that had brought forth a giggle from my stoic temptress.
I scooped her up in my arms, carrying her towards the bedroom. She gasped, but didn’t struggle. “Cocky motherfucker…and still wearing the goddamn suspenders.”
I set her down gently on the bed, almost laughing at how offended she looked when I kissed her lightly on the nose.
“You’re banned from ever wearing those again,” she told me as I stripped them off. “I lose all ability to reason at the sight of you in suspenders.”
“You’re cute when you try to give me orders,” I said, earning a slap on the ass as I pulled my pants off and got into bed.
She pushed me away and curled up on her own, making it clear that cuddling wasn’t on the menu, and confirming my suspicions that she’d offered to let me stay because it was polite and practical, not because this changed anything between us.
She reached over and flipped the light off.
“Damn,” I said in the darkness.
“What’s the issue?” The usual imperious irritation was creeping back into her tone.
“I was positive you’re so pale you’d glow in the dark. Now the mystery is solved and I’m disappointed.”
She smacked blindly and hit my chest, so I grasped her hand and pulled her to me. What we’d done might be an everyday occurrence for her, but now that we were out of the heat of the moment I was beginning to question whether I’d done anything to upset her.
“Don’t get your hackles up.” I grinned despite being aware that my balls were possibly in mortal danger. “Nonconsensual cuddling isn’t my plan. Humor me for a minute. You said subs need aftercare. Do you need that?”
She’d talked again and again about subs needing aftercare, but she seemed completely fine. She always seemed completely fine, though, so how would I know?
“No, Boy Scout. It’s sweet of you to offer, but I don’t need aftercare at the moment.” I could hear the amusement in her voice.
The unspoken part of her sentence was that what we’d done hadn’t been intense enough to need it. I understood she was far more experienced than me, but it felt shitty to be in a place where she’d just rocked my world and I hadn’t even made it onto her Richter scale.
There hadn’t been whips or chains, but she’d pulled something out of me I’d never explored before. I’d liked the feel of holding her down hard enough it might have left marks on her soft skin. I’d wanted to keep going until she begged me to stop and then keep making her come until she had to use a safe word. I likedmakingher come. Making her lose control.
She started to pull away again, but there was more I needed to say. My mind was spinning, so I tugged her back to me. “Did I hurt you? When I pulled your hair and held you down and stuff?”
She paused and then her whole demeanor changed. She relaxed against me, pressing her naked body to my side and throwing a leg over my hip, resting her head on my shoulder and letting me wrap my arm around her. It instantly soothed some of the tension that had been building within me.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I should’ve been paying enough attention to know what you needed without you having to ask. No, you didn’t hurt me. And in case you missed all of those orgasms, I loved it. But I understand what you’re feeling. Often, it’s the sub who needs aftercare, but it’s less talked about that sometimes dominants do too, and there’s no shame in that.”
I felt dumb, but I wasn’t going to argue when she was giving me exactly what I needed. She took my face in her hands and kissed me gently.
“Was it messed up that I pulled you by the hair?” I didn’t want to sound weak, but was willing to risk it to make sure I hadn’t crossed any lines with her.
“Pull my hair anytime,” she said lightly. “Well, in public might be frowned upon. I thought it was hot that you went for it and I’m going to get off to the memory of you holding me down to force me to come again.”
“Can I watch?” I stroked her shoulder and didn’t even pretend I was joking.
“Maybe,” she said coyly. “But you’ll have to earn it.”
Name your price, my lady.
I kept the thought to myself. She didn’t need to know how desperate I was for more with her.
26
Elena
Ishamelessly stared at Alex sprawled out in my bed in the early morning light. He was even magnetic when he slept, still beautiful, but more vulnerable. I knew with absolute certainty that the moment he opened his eyes and saw me, he would smile his soft smile, the one I never saw him do in public. What would it be like to wake up to that smile every day?
