“You know it’s part of our industry.” I shrugged like it was no big deal, but we both knew it was. Lots of things were part of our industry that we promised ourselves we’d never resort to.
“Why don’t we just go back to the studio and insist they hire her as a consultant?”
“They’re already getting cold feet about casting me. I can read the room. If I all but tell them I suck so bad that I need full time professional help for the next month, I’m not positive they won’t find a way to recast it.”
He said, “You don’t need this role, Alex. They haven’t announced it yet. You can back out if the only other options are making yourself a joke or pretending to date the most infamous dominatrix on the internet.”
I needed this part. I was going to suffocate if I didn’t break out of the typecasting box I’d been shoved in. He was so different from anyone I'd ever played before. I didn’t know how to embrace that side of myself after being the “nice guy" for so long, but I couldn’t back down from the challenge of figuring it out.
Lucas Steel spoke to something visceral in me, but I didn’t know how to turn that gut feeling into a performance that would do him justice. I’d been absolutely convinced I could play him like no one else could. I’d been fired up enough to get through a screen-test and convince them to cast me. Then I’d started to overthink it. As I dug into the script, I discovered I didn’t really know how to embody a murderous psychopath in a way that was also charismatic. That both scared and thrilled me.
My path to stardom had been unexpected. In high school, I’d been the jock who also did theatre. Everyone thought sports would be my ticket to a successful future and just assumed theatre was a quirky hobby I’d eventually outgrow. I didn’t get nervous before sporting events, but the nervous rush I felt performing was a high I’d been chasing ever since I’d taken that first elective theatre class on a whim as a freshman. I loved entertaining people, becoming someone else, and telling a story through the subtle subtext of my actions.
When I was offered full-ride scholarships all over the country for tennis, no one thought anything of it when I chose a school in LA. I wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone, but deep down, I thought if I came out here, I’d be able to give acting a shot without having to go all in. No one needed to know if I went to a few auditions or something.
But I quickly realized no one without a Hollywood pedigree made it without going all in. So I changed my major to film. It was still a degree, and I was still playing tennis, so no one questioned it too much.
Until I was cast in my first TV show. My professors were willing to work with me to finish out the semester, but there was no way to keep up with practice and being on set. It was time to commit. If I stopped playing, I’d lose my scholarship, but if I gave up the TV show, I’d lose my first real chance at becoming an actor. Who knew if I’d get another?
This felt like that decision all over again. Was I willing to do something drastic and risk looking like a fool in order to achieve my dreams? By all accounts, I was already successful, but I was sick and tired of playing the same guy over and over again. I wanted to smash that mold and show people I could domore. Acting had become as comfortable as sports had always been and that wasn’t why I’d thrown a full ride out the window.
I wanted to be scared again. But for weeks, it had been feeling like this time I might be in over my head. I’d been consumed with self doubt, wondering if I should just back out gracefully. Until I’d met Lady Elena. She was formidable, but something about her made me feel capable of being formidable too.
“Not a chance. I’m not giving it up now that I have the solution in front of me. She might act like I pissed in her Cheerios, but that means she’s not going to be fake with me. I can do a contract relationship, but not with someone cloying who’s going to spend the whole time overdoing it or thinking she can lure me into the real thing. This can be a straight-up business relationship with no complications.”
I’d known within thirty seconds that I wanted as much access to her as I could get for the next month. She was the real deal. On top of everything else, pretending to date would let me have more than an hour here and there with her.
“For the record, I think this is a terrible plan,” Rami said. “But I’ll happily sit back with popcorn and watch her eat you alive if you insist on going through with it. Hiring a consultant is perfectly reasonable. Hiring a fake girlfriend is nuts.”
“Noted. Can we go in and get milkshakes now?”
Fred’s was the best diner in LA that was open 24 hours and had milkshakes I would do bad things for. These days we usually only came if we happened to be up late enough that most people were too tired or drunk to notice me.
Rami and I had known each other for far longer than I’d been famous, and I’d learned to appreciate those genuine friendships. I couldn’t pinpoint the day when I became famous enough for it to matter, but ever since then I’d always had to second-guess people’s intentions.
I kept my head down as Rami asked the hostess for the booth in the back corner, then I sat facing away from the rest of the restaurant. I was in the mood to just be a normal guy and eat some unhealthy food without being watched the whole time, people pretending to look at their phone as they sneaked pictures of me.
Rami engaged with the staff every time they came to the table, letting me look down to shield my face. We’d been coming here long enough that he knew what I wanted anyway.
Rami was still tense and I knew him well enough to recognize that he already wanted to revisit the fake relationship discussion with new arguments his lawyer brain had concocted, but he would save it for when we weren’t in public.
I enjoyed the shit out of my pancakes and chocolate shake, sticking my straw into the metal container they always brought with the overflow amount that didn’t fit in the glass. We didn’t talk much since both of our minds were clearly spinning, but it felt good to be out in public, doing nothing much, and not having to worry about being Alex Chase for a bit.
Rami slid out of the booth. “I’m gonna go take a piss.”
Left alone at the table, my thoughts returned to the formidable Lady Elena. Her presence was magnetic. Would I get to see her let her guard down if we spent that much time together?
Within a minute of Rami disappearing, our waitress sidled up to the table. I kept looking down, thinking she was just dropping the check off, but when I didn’t look up, she tapped me on the shoulder.
She gave me a flirty smile when I made eye contact. “So it is you.”
I hadn’t gotten a good look at her before, but now I could see she was gorgeous, with long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, highlighting her high cheekbones. She was wearing shorts that showed off her toned legs. In another life, I might’ve been interested, but tonight, I was just disappointed she’d recognized me.
I didn’t confirm or deny my identity. There didn’t seem to be a point.
“Don’t worry.” She looked around then leaned closer. “I won’t tell anyone else. I just wanted to give you this in case you ever want to hang out or something. I think we have a lot in common.”
She slid a napkin with the name “Alicia” and a phone number scrawled on it onto the table in front of me.
