I put my phone away and glanced up as Alex appeared onscreen wearing only a pair of underwear, standing in front of a mirror shaving. The entire room reverberated with female cheers. I couldn’t really fault them.
We progressed through a montage of him preparing for his day, and by the time he was wearing a suit and heading out the door, I had concluded that the film must be terrible because they were spending entirely too much time showing off their leading actor.
It turned into a light spy movie in which he gets paired up with the newest female agent who has no patience for his instinct driven, on-the-fly style of doing his job. It was fun and entertaining. Alex was magnetic onscreen, but the audience wouldn’t still be thinking about it in a week. If he was looking for those kind of roles, this wasn’t it, but I didn’t see what was wrong with making films like this that brought people simple joy.
The audience gave a standing ovation as the lights on the stage turned on and a trio of people walked out onto the platform. Alex was easy to immediately spot because he was a head taller than the others.
My stomach flipped in nervous excitement when he looked my direction even though I knew he couldn’t see me sitting in the dark. Then it dropped as I realized who was now perched on the chair next to him, mic in hand. How had I missed that my former client Max was the director?
I felt sick I had enjoyed a film that asshole masterminded. It was unexpectedly confusing to now want to hate it even though nothing had changed. Could I separate the art from the creator?
I was still pissed he would be directingCrown of Swords. Of course a sack of shit with no respect for protocol, consent, or women would be in charge of bringing a book I loved to life.
The moderator began to ask questions from his notes. Alex was charismatic and looked completely at ease in front of the audience. If I wasn’t already fake dating him, I might’ve even developed a crush on him, but it was interesting to be able to see that he was still acting up there, playing a version of himself that was slightly different from what I saw with him in private. Was the way he was with me a type of performance as well?
We were so similar in that way. My alter ego had slowly become part of my persona and trickled into my authentic personality enough that my “real” self felt inauthentic now. I had become the person I’d simply been pretending to be at first.
Who was the real Alex Chase? I doubted I’d ever find out.
Max gave an answer about the film that was passionate and articulate. There was an obvious camaraderie between him and Alex, with them frequently teasing each other and jokingly correcting each other’s answers. It was a stark reminder that abusers are never all bad and are only bad to certain people. This man had been vile to me, and yet he seemed like a charming, caring guy to everyone else in this audience. It made me ill, but I would keep my secrets because that was part of my job.
The moderator gestured towards the rows of seats. “We’ve got time for just a few questions from the audience before we wrap up…” He pointed to a woman in front who had immediately raised her hand.
“Alex, if I was going to knit you a hat, what color should it be?”
The audience laughed and Alex smiled good-naturedly. He looked my direction as he said, “I’ve been partial to blue lately.”
My cheeks heated, but I was fighting a stupid smile.
The next question was for Max. I tried to tune out his answer, fantasizing instead about raising my hand and asking him a few choice questions of my own… Why can’t you keep your dick to yourself? Are you aware that no means no?
That was off-limits, but it did give me a genius idea to get back at Alex for hisPride and Prejudicestunt. It took a few more questions before I finally caught the moderator’s attention and an assistant jogged back to me with a mic.
I managed to keep a straight face as I said, “Alex, it was recently reported that you were paid more than twice as much as your female costars in every movie you’ve been in for the last five years. What tangible actions are you taking to resolve the gender pay disparity in Hollywood?”
The room cheered at the question. We may enjoy handsome, charming men, but we liked equal pay more.
“Wow, that’s a great question.” Alex was looking back in my direction as he said it and I swore I could see the tension in his smile. He pretended to loosen a tie he wasn’t wearing.
You’re not charming your way out of this one…
“I haven’t seen that story, so I’m not familiar with the figures they’re asking about, but if that’s true then it sounds like we’ve got a lot of work to do. There’s no reason I should be paid more than the incredibly talented women I work with just because I’m a man.” He paused and looked around the room. “But I’ll tell you this, I’m a proud feminist and I promise to listen and do my part to close the pay gap. I’ll start by promising pay transparency with all of my costars going forward and a guarantee that I’ll support their negotiations.”
He got more raucous cheers. I was relieved he hadn’t crashed and burned, but it had been fun to watch him sweat.
Asha appeared at my side, so I followed her silently out of the doors in the back, setting my wineglass on the bar on the way past.
She said, “The after-party is right across the courtyard in a restaurant that’s closed for the event. This part is more exclusive, so just people who worked on the film, journalists, and industry people—no fans. I’ve claimed a table for us to retreat to and I can cycle some press through when you two are ready, so we can control access to him. It’s supposed to feel like a casual party, but be aware of what you’re saying and who you’re saying it to.”
“No issue there. When you lead a secret double life, you get used to watching what you say.”
I waited at the table, swiping tiny burgers and fake meatballs from servers as they passed, glad I could sit and observe since I was out of my element.
I pretended not to care when Alex showed up, but I was charged with anticipation. I was more eager than I wanted to admit to see how he would react to my little prank, wondering which of his smiles would appear first and whether I’d be able to resist it.
15
Alex
