“Of course!” She jumped up. “In fact, I’ve finished reading it, so you’re welcome to borrow it.”
“Thanks, Amy. I’d love that.” When she ran inside to grab it, I looked around, taking in my surroundings with a deep sigh of contentment.
I’d become a pro at capturing the beauty in simple moments, thanks to my blog and socials, and this moment would have been one for Instagram, with the rolling hills for miles, fragrant, flowering trees, horses, and cows out to pasture, but I had no desire to capture it and share it with the world. I just wanted to experience it. To live it and appreciate it and express gratitude for it.
I didn’t realize I was smiling until Amy stepped outside and said, “You look happy.”
“I am.” I nodded, tipping my head back to enjoy the gentle, fragrant breeze skimming my skin. “This is where I belong.” Voicing one of the few things I knew to be true right now felt like another puzzle piece clicking into place. The man I loved was the first one. The place I’d always loved, and finally calling it home, was the second one. Who knew what the third might be? Maybe I didn’t need to know right now. Maybe knowing where home was and who I belonged with was enough for now.
“I love that,” Amy said, handing me the book. “Fair warning, this just might keep you up all night.”
I laughed. “Joel might have something to say about that.”
A look of understanding passed between us before she grinned. “Of course, you’re newlyweds. You’ll be too busy to read when you go to bed.”
I winked at her. “With any luck.” I didn’t know Amy as well as I knew her husband, but I had no doubt I’d be counting her among my friends in no time. She was sweet, easy to talk to, and it was obvious she had a kind heart. “Where are the kiddies?” She had an adorable son and daughter, three and five.
“They’re having a sleepover with their grandparents, so with any luck I won’t be getting much reading done tonight either.”
I giggled. “Good for you.”
“I was just telling Johnny you haven’t been posting much on social media. I’m sorry the show didn’t work out for you, Gia. I thought you would have been amazing.”
“Thanks, but I’m at peace with it. I don’t think it was meant to be.”
“You think you’ll still be posting videos and stuff though?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t had the desire to lately, but I need to figure out what comes next, if I don’t go back to that. I’ve always been a bit of a workaholic, and it’s been nice taking a break, but I know I’ll go stir-crazy in no time, if I don’t settle on something.”
“I know what you mean. I love my babies, but my career gives me a sense of fulfillment. I don’t know what I’d do without it, honestly.”
I was a little envious of Amy. She was married to her best friend, had a career she loved, two beautiful babies, a comfortable home… my life felt a little lacking by comparison, though I knew I had no right to complain.
“Have you and Joel talked about some options? I know he loves this place, but farming isn’t really in his blood, is it?”
I shook my head. “No, but Joel can run his business from anywhere. He’s taken a bit of a break from it while he was getting settled in here, but I have no doubt he’ll return to it when he’s ready.”
“Hmm, so where does that leave you?”
“I’m not sure.” I picked up the book she’d lent me, turning it over to look at the photo of the vibrant forty-something blonde woman on the glossy jacket. “Maybe this will give me some insight on how to do a life reset.”
She pointed at the book in my hand. “Going through something like that woman did, having to face her own mortality in her late twenties, would sure put things in perspective, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I considered what Joel had gone through, already losing both of his parents, and having no other family to lean on, and I wondered if that experience had helped him put life in perspective.
“I guess we never really know when our number is going to be called, do we? We just have to make the most of the time we have, right?”
“We do.” But how was I going to make the most of my time? Right now, the days seemed a little too long… with nothing meaningful to fill them. And I knew that couldn’t be good for me, or my marriage.
* * *
After my visit with Amy, I’d made Joel’s favorite dinner and dessert: Caesar salad, seafood pasta, and chocolate mousse. Standing on my feet for so long probably wasn’t a good idea, but I needed something to occupy my mind and hands for awhile.
Joel came up from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he buried his face in my hair. “Hey, beautiful.”
I smiled as he kissed my neck. “Hey, yourself. I missed you this afternoon. Where’d you go?”
“I’ll tell you about it over dinner.”
