“My dream is right here,” I whispered. “I don’t need anything more.” There was a time I thought I did. I believed the only way I could take care of myself was by earning a six-figure income, owning a home of my own, investing in a 401k and doing all the ‘big girl’ stuff that sometimes scared me to death as sleep alluded me most nights.
“But your career means everything to you, babe. I don’t want to interfere with that.”
“It means freedom.” I looked him in the eye when I said, “That’s all it means. I love what I do, but I was doing it because I needed to make good money so I could take care of myself.” He’d been so vulnerable with me tonight, I felt I owed him the same, and I knew honesty could only make our relationship stronger. “I didn’t think I’d ever get married, but I knew I wanted to have kids someday. Not being part of a two-income household, being a single parent, is scary. But I didn’t want to miss out on having kids, even if I never found my Mr. Right.”
“So, what are you saying?”
He seemed surprised, and I wondered if I’d said too much, too soon. I didn’t want him to think my career had been secondary and my ultimate goal had been to land a man all along. “Just that I love what I do and I want to see where it can take me, but family comes first with me, Joel. It always has.”
He laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I wish I could say the same.”
His mood had shifted to melancholy and I knew he was thinking about not being there for his dad, but I wondered if he was also having second thoughts about us, in light of my confession.
I laid back on my pillow, knowing this was the time to listen, if he felt like talking.
His hand clasped mine before he brought it to his lips. “I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?”
I tilted my head to the side to look at him. “I do.”
I could tell he was wrestling some inner conflict, and I wanted him to open up to me, but I didn’t want to push. This relationship thing was new to both of us and I knew it would take time to feel our way.
“I haven’t always been the guy you think I am. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, done things I’m not proud of.”
My stomach churned with fear. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know about his past. I knew his heart, and that was good enough for me. “We all have.”
His eyes searched mine before he touched my cheek. “Just know that from this day forward I’m going to be the best man I know how to be… for you.”
I kissed him before whispering, “You don’t have to try. You’re already the best man I know.”
ChapterThirteen
Gia
A girl’s night out with two pregnant ladies meant I wouldn’t have to worry about a designated driver. It was the night before the crew was scheduled to arrive at our house to start filming and Deanna and Briar insisted on taking me out for dinner, since the next three months were bound to be crazy for me.
We’d agreed to go to Rhett’s nightclub, where he’d cordoned off the entire VIP lounge so we would be guaranteed privacy and exceptional service. I thought it was a little excessive, but I knew better than to argue with my best friend’s husband when he’d made up his mind.
“So, how’s married life?” Deanna asked, reaching for a piece of bruschetta from the platter in the middle of the table.
Briar and I shared a look and I knew even before I opened my mouth my best friend was on to me. I hadn’t told her about our wedding night yet. I wanted to wait to tell her in person so I could see the expression on her face when I told her I’d finally fallen in love… for real this time. With my husband, of all people. Who would have thought?
“What are you not telling us?” Briar asked, rubbing her very pregnant belly. She was due any day and had reached the stage where she just wanted the little one to make his appearance already. “And don’t say nothing, it’s written all over your face. You’re trying to keep a secret.”
“It’s not a secret.” I popped the olive from my dirty martini into my mouth and chewed slowly, drawing out the moment just to drive my friends crazy. “I was just waiting to tell you.”
Briar and Deanna looked at each other before Dee released an exasperated sigh. “Well, tell us already!”
“Things with Joel have kind of… taken a turn. For the better… and hotter.” Admitting our feelings for each other had ratchetted things up to the next level. Any steamier and I would combust when he touched me.
Briar squealed, pointing at me. “I knew it! You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?”
I laughed. “I know you’re dying to tell me ‘I told you so’, so let’s just get it over with.” Bri loved being right, especially when it came to me or her husband.
“I did, didn’t I?” She looked smug as she sipped her virgin daquiri. “But I don’t want to dwell on that. I want you to dish all the dirt. What happened to change your mind? Does Joel know how you feel? I don’t even have to ask if he feels the same way, it’s obvious he does.”
I loved that it was obvious to my friends that Joel was into me. There was a part of me that still felt like a high school freshman with a crush every time he kissed me. “I don’t know, for me things started feeling different even before the wedding, I guess. Maybe it was the incredible sex…” I fanned my face. “Once we crossed that line and were no longer in the ‘friend zone’ it was hard not to think of how amazing things could be if we tried, for real.”
“Ohmigod,” Dee said, squeezing my hand. “So, you guys are married for real?”
