“Hey, you cold?” he asked, rubbing his warm hands up and down my bare back.
Those damn tell-tale goosies again. Every time he touched me. That should have been my first clue we were venturing into unchartered territory, at least for me.
“No.” I threaded my hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, drawing his body closer to mine. “Just thinking about what you might have in store for me later.” The bedroom was the one place where there was no pretense between us. We were perfectly in sync in bed, like we’d been created to make love only to each other.
He groaned in my ear. “Keep looking at me like that and I’m going to toss you over my shoulder and haul ass outta here.”
I giggled. “We are newlyweds. I don’t think anyone would be too surprised.”
He sighed. “I wish I could take you on a real honeymoon. Having you all to myself for a week or two would be pretty amazing.”
Did he know he made my heart melt when he said things like that? Or was he just playing the part? The lines had become so blurred I didn’t know what was real and what was fake anymore.
“Maybe after the show wraps we could sneak away?” he asked.
The crew was due to arrive in five days and while I just had some last-minute painting and decorating in the house, I still felt ill-prepared. I’d had an uneasy feeling ever since my meeting in L.A., and I couldn’t shake it.
“Gia?”
“Sorry.” I shook my head. “I was just thinking about…” I wouldn’t have considered sharing my fears with anyone else, but this was Joel. “Am I crazy?”
He smirked. “If you are, I am too.”
“I’m serious,” I said, resting my hand on his chest. “This TV thing, I’m scared. What if I suck at it?”
He rested his forehead against mine. “You were born for it, G. The camera is going to fall in love with you.”
The way he saidfall in love with youmade me wish I could read his mind. “Even though I’ve been all over socials for years, I’m a pretty private person, you know.”
“I know.” He framed my face with his hands, looking into my eyes. “Just believe in yourself as much as I believe in you and you’ll be fine.”
My eyes burned with tears and I tried to blink them away, sniffling. “Stop saying stuff like that. You’re going to make me cry.”
“Every woman is supposed to cry on their wedding day. If you don’t, people will think you’re not that into me.”
If they thought that, they were sorely mistaken. I’d never felt like this about anyone, and that was even more terrifying than the unknown world of TV I was stepping into.
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Any woman in her right mind would be into you.”
His half-smile curled my toes when he said, “You just said you were crazy. Does that mean you’re not into me?”
It felt like a loaded question. I could tell him the truth. But that would mean being more vulnerable than I’d ever been, and risking our friendship if he didn’t feel the same way. But could I go on living a lie? Pretense with strangers was one thing, but could I lie to myself and myhusband?
“Joel,” I whispered. “What’s happening between us? I mean, do you feel it too? Or am I—”
He silenced me with a kiss. “Yeah, I feel it too.” He glanced over his shoulder. “But now’s probably not the time to talk about it. We’ve got all night.”
At least he said he felt it too. Now I could breathe again. “You really want to waste time talking on our wedding night?” I teased.
His expression was dark, loaded with innuendo when he said, “Let me show you how good I am at multi-tasking, sweetheart.”
* * *
And that’s exactly what he did. His eyes held mine as he entered me slowly, pinning me to the soft mattress with our linked hands and the weight of his muscular body.
“Gia… I’m so in love with you.”
The air got trapped in my throat on a sob when I tried to respond. I’d never felt like this about anyone, and to know he felt it too was everything. But, wait! Did this mean we were married for real? My body must have tensed because he pulled back, his expression reading shock and dread.
