“Derrick, what did Brietta do?” I asked.
He froze in place and swallowed. “Nothing I did not deserve.”
Did they have an argument? Had he somehow discovered our plans? Did he know I was a sorceress?
My palm pressed against my heart and I took a step closer. “What do you mean?”
His eyes stayed low. “I cannot remember.”
I knitted my brows. He said he could not remember consummating his marriage with Brietta either, but how could he be black and blue and not remember what had happened?
Derrick’s throat trembled and he hissed out a breath. “Look, it is late, you should go to bed.”
No, I was not going to let him shut me out too. “You were looking for me last night—you said you needed me and here I am.”
He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. “I…I did?”
The ache beneath my ribs deepend. How much could he not remember?
He turned his shoulders toward me, keeping his fingers hooked on the door handle. “I suppose I wanted to make sure you were all right.” A ghost of a smile flicked up his lips. “You certainly are doing better than I am.”
Being direct was not going to help, maybe I needed to change the subject and then he would open up.
I glanced at the pile of pillows and blankets. “Do you sleep out here often?”
His Hyton Blue eyes finally met mine. “Every night since you left.”
He had told me his eyes would stay north until I came back to the palace. I thought he was just being poetic.
“Seems foolish, I know,” he said, “sleeping outside like a dog and watching over the mountain…but I just could not stop worrying.”
He walked toward the balcony’s edge. He slumped down onto the railing, his eyes on the dim outline of Nordingaard. “When the moon was full, I could almost see that damned fortress with you locked inside. Then the moon thinned night after night, so I stopped trying to see. I just listened—listened for a scream.”
I joined him at the balcony railing. His eyes were bolted north as if he were tracing Nordingaard’s peak into his memory. “I knew you had my dagger with you. I knew you were smart enough to escape him and strong enough to fight back if he…”
He swallowed. “I just waited for a reason to go out there and save you, my father’s laws be damned.” His hand found mine, holding me so tightly my hand folded in on itself. “Everyone knew what was going to happen to you if he tried to seal that blood bond. All those bastards at court treated it like a joke, but it destroyed me every time I was reminded that monster had you.”
My stomach felt hollow. I had carefully penned every letter to make Derrick need me so he would choose me. I had never considered what would happen to Derrick if hecould notchoose me.
“You weremine,damn it.” His voice broke. “They all knew I loved you, that I had waited for you for seven years. There wasonlyyou.”
He had the freedom to do as he pleased throughout our time at school. He could have had another lover in town, or been with any woman eager to please the heir to Lycaster…
…but he chose to wait for me.
Derrick’s throat trembled. “I grew up believing love was the greatest power in the world, but when I watched you ride away in the black Bloodstone carriage like you were going to your own funeral, I realized that was all a lie. I was the Duke’s heir, but losing you made me feel as powerless as a….as a…”
His voice dropped. “…as a little rabbit.”
I pried my hand out of his grip and placed both hands over his pounding heart. I had to make this better. I had to help. “You did not lose me. I am right here.”
Derrick finally looked down. Slow, careful notes of a harp echoed in my mind. The pinhole of light slowly opened up between his eyes, but the horrible bruise on his eye captured all my attention.
“I hate that you are going to look like this for your birthday tomorrow,” I said.
He sighed. “Father is throwing another ball to celebrate, he is going to be furious when he sees me.”
The hell he would. I might not be able to mend the wounds in his heart, but I could at least try to mend his face.
