I made a mess of your Presentation dress, but I can fix it. Hopefully I can fix everything and give you the life you deserve.
I’m glad I chose you. I hope one day you will choose me too.
—Riyan
The tip of my nose stung as tears lined my eyes. My hands shook as I set the note aside and lifted the black satin.
A soft gasp escaped my lips. Inside the box was a golden headband with two rows of shining pearls.
Did Riyan even have the gold all those pearls must have cost? Father had drained the Ravenwood treasury just buying the pearls on my Presentation dress!
But if the pink ribbon on the box meant the gift came from Hyton square, Riyan had to have ordered the piece during the two days we were in Hyton. And why would Riyan try to fix my Presentation dress? Unless…
My heart stilled as my thumbs ran over the cool pearls—the pearls from my Presentation dress.
Riyan had saved them.
Tears dripped onto my cheeks. I thought my precious dress was ruined, but no, Riyan was thoughtful enough to save it. He was also thoughtful enough to feed me, care for me, and love me with every part of his mind and body.
But was that enough for a monster like me?
I blinked back tears as guilt coated my stomach like pitch. I did not deserve Riyan, or his love, andespeciallynot his sacrifice.
I did not even deserve the magical gift in my heart. What was I even good for? Why did I even have it in the first place?
Andfuckwas I tired of asking questions with no answers to satisfy me.
I hissed out a breath and gently placed the note and the pearls safely in the box.
“Thank you Rosaline.” I slowly shut the lid on the box as my heart pounded, the diamond in my heart sparkling with the need for the truth. “If you will excuse me, I need to have a word with a very old man at the bottom of a very dark pit.”
I pushed past the doors with the carved bulls and went to my wardrobe. I rifled amongst my linens until my hand found the Nordingaard crystal. The magic from the crystal sang into my palm as I retrieved it.
The crystal was not enough, so I searched further in the drawer. Like a whisper, the scrap of linen that held my embroidered flowers met my fingertips.
Once, I had told Riyan to find his flowers instead of his fear. As my own hands traced the stitches, I searched for something I could not find—proof I had ever deserved the man who had worn the flowers in the first place.
I grounded myself in the woven threads as my heart sank. Stitching Derrick’s mind had consumed so much of me that I had not stitched with real thread in days.
I had spent so much time in dreams that I forgot what something real even felt like.
The box with the pearl headband slid into my drawer as I buried it beneath my linens. As much as I wanted to put the headband on and admire it, I did not deserve the gift just yet.
I needed answers first.
My clothes slid off my skin and the Hyton dagger clattered to the floor as I released my garters. I pulled the satin ribbon of the choker around my neck and my lungs filled with cool air as the gentle warmth of the crystal flowed into my throat.
I wore nothing but the crystal as I crossed the room and twisted the sconce on the northern wall. I trembled as I crossed the tiles, but then I gritted my teeth and sat at the edge of the pool.
The threads of the flowers rubbed against my fingers as I wrung the scrap of linen in my palm—my turn to find my flowers instead of my fear.
I slid my toes into the water, then my legs. With a final breath of courage, I pushed the rest of my body in. I kept a tight grip on the edge of the pool as my legs limply floated in the water.
I was not even sure if I could reach the Man of the Mountain through the false healing spring, but I had to try.
I closed my eyes and channeled the white flame in my heart that smoldered with the desire I had since the beginning.
The desire for what was real.
