“Do I look hurt to you?” I asked softly. For once, I was not lying—my pain and soreness hadsomehow disappeared.
The magic in my veins pushed me to touch him. He tensed as I gently placed my hand on his forearm, but then he relaxed aftera heartbeat.
“You have my blood now, so it looks like you heal quickly too,” Riyan said. He swallowed and his voice dropped to a whisper. “But you still scared the shit outof me.”
I lifted up his heavy forearm and laid down on the mattress, placing his arm around my body like a blanket. I did not want to talk about what almost happened. The golden light swirling around in my chest onlywanted closeness.
Riyan’s eyes brightened a little as I snuggled him. His gaze wandered up to the top of my head and he lethimself smile.
“You still look like my faerie princess,” he said as he played with one of the lilies that managed to stay in my braid. His thumb dropped to caress my forehead and he chuckled. “If you were stuck on that glass hill, I wouldn’t need a magic horse or any of that bullshit to save you. I would just punch the glass and shatter it so you could slide down intomy arms.”
A short laugh escaped my lips. “You cannot solve every problem by punchingit, Riyan.”
His fingertips caressed my back in long strokes. “I’m slowly starting to figurethat out.”
Riyan draped the knitted blanket over me but kept his arm over my waist and his hand on my back. I leaned into the pillow underneath my head and stared at the center of Riyan’s chest. I watched his chest rise and fall, imagining that ball of golden light twisting aroundhis heart.
The marriage enchantment was indeed special, but not like the Ashmore matrons had described. It had given me the ability to heal. It had even made me braver, more introspective, and, dare I think it, nonsensical.
I had already defied my rock-solid logic and reasoning by staying close to the man who had nearly suffocated me and I could not explain what drove me to want to touch him so badly. I had never felt that way about Derrick, or anyone else forthat matter.
For some reason, Mother’s words about fear and love being two sides of the same blade sang in my mind. Her ridiculous rambling made no sense the first time and it still made no sense as I mulled over it again. Still, that little spark of gold around my heart compelled me to make sense ofit all.
“Riyan, what do you think love is?”I asked.
Riyan’s chest stilled for a heartbeat, then he let out along breath.
“Love is,” he replied, letting the words slowly roll off his tongue, “when you realize you would do anything for someone because their life and happiness matters morethan yours.”
I hummed and kept staring at his chest. His logic was more sound than my mother’s. Maybe I could take his word for what lovereally was.
My chest fell. I did not care about anyone else more than my own survival. I had closed off my heart to keep myself safe from pain, but I had never realized how selfish my protection was until Riyan spelled out what theopposite meant.
My defenses had all but crumbled and I had let Riyan closer to my truest self than I had ever allowed anyone in before, but I still kept him safely away from my heart. Even though he held me against him, I might as well have been on the peak of my own mountainfar away.
Riyan’s voice rumbled low in his throat as he spoke again. “I’ll tell you a secret if you tell meone first.”
I sighed and kept my eyes fixed on his chest as Riyan lazily stroked my back. The secret I was about to let out was ugly and cold, but I promised myself I wouldbe honest.
“I do not love anyone,”I said.
Riyan’s hand stopped caressing my skin. I bit my tongue and closedmy eyes.
“Not anyone?” he asked. “Not even Brietta Elvar? Oryour parents?”
I let out a shaking breath onto my pillow and opened my eyes. I was only brave enough to look up at Riyan’s chin. My lip trembled as another confession slithered outof me.
“I have not loved anyone since mybrothers died.”
My eyes stung with tears. I slammed my eyelids shut and clenched my fists in the knitted blanket. I needed to distract myself with Riyan’s voice so I wouldnot cry.
“What is your secret?” I opened my eyes and stared at the center of hischest again.
“Oh, uh,” he stammered, “I drinka lot.”
“That is not a secret.” I unclenched my body and let a smile break through my lips. “I open up about my ugliest truth and you tell me that? How isthat fair?”
“I…” He paused, then he cleared his throat. “It’s not fair.You’re right.”
