I kicked my heel into his chest, but it was so weak he probably did not even feel it. “Anyway, I said winterused tobe my favorite. Then I went to Ashmore. We spent so much time locked up that sometimes I did not even recall what month it was. Winter lost its bite. Spring lost its shine. Summer meant nothing other than one class of girls was married off and a new crop of young brides would arrive at the end. Years just became muddled blurs—like a jar of water you clean paintbrushes in.”
“You paint?” His breath formed a small cloud beforeit disappeared.
“No, as much as the matrons tried to force me to be good at it. I hated getting greasy paint on my hands.” I pulled the cape in closer to my chest. “But that memory of the disgusting glass jars of grey water stuckwith me.”
I looked out at the expanse of white broken up only by scraggly pine trees. “Sometimes I saw the world like I was looking through that glass jar—everything was murky and colorless. Other times I felt like Iwasthe glass jar. I could have made something beautiful, but instead I was full ofcold waste.”
“Youarebeautiful.” His voice was stronger, his heavy footfalls in the snow punctuating each word. “Nothing about you isa waste.”
“Only becauseyousay so,” I replied. “When you are brought up to be only a bride, you are nothing until you are married. Then someone else decides what you are. Duchess, Baroness, mother…none of that is whatI am.”
The snow around us reminded me of Ilsa’s infamous icy beauty. She was a Duchess, whore, half-giant, traitor, sorceress…but only because others saidshe was.
The most harrowing part of Ilsa’s tale was not her alleged misdeeds, nor that her shining beauty was destroyed, but that she died without anyone knowing who shereally was.
“And…what are you, Serafina?” Riyan wore a smile, but his voice wasstill heavy.
Dozens of words spun in my head. Daughter. Friend. Rival. Liar. Manipulator. Plotter. Lover. Enemy. Murderer. Failure. Each vibrant word mixed with its opposite, swirling together until it resembled nothing but bleak, grey water ina jar.
A jarof nothing.
I snuggled into his hair and took a deep breath of nectar and wheat. “I have no idea. I survive…that is all I do. Does not make me much of anything,does it?”
A loud squawk echoed all around us. I looked up, two black birds flapped their wings and darted back and forth in the rocksabove us.
One of the birds flew rightfor me.
“Se-ra! Se-ra!”it screamed.
The demented ravens had returned. I pulled the hood of my cape over my head and closedmy eyes.
“Se-ra!”
A sharp sting sliced through myright side.
Pain stole my breath from my lungs. My eyes met a dark sky. The crimson cape fluttered around the edges of my vision as I plummeted tothe ground.
My back smacked against the snow. The shock of the impact rattled my bones. My face hit the snow over and over as I rolled down the slope. The left side of my body crashed into stone, but pain screamed frommy right.
What felt like a cold black fire ignited from my right side. I screamed through gritted teeth and pressed my hands to my side, but black flames spread through my veins to the rest ofmy body.
Over the sounds of the pain roaring in my ears, footsteps dragged through the snow, panting breath grew closer and closer, and just when I thought a hand gripped my shoulder, the ravenscreamed again.
“Se-ra!” The cry was as horrible as Deathitself. “Se-ra!”
Feathers beat against my face as the raven marked me for the reaper. My body was consumed with invisible flames. I bucked against the stone and writhed as Iburned alive.
Dread seeped through the black fire. Truth escaped its iron cage as the rest of my body burned down. I came to Nordingaard to kill, so Nordingaard was going tokill me.
Nothing I didnot deserve.
“Sera!” The voice was louder, clearer, and desperate. Riyan. “Whereare you?”
I wrenched open my jaw and screamed in response. The earth rumbled under me like it was going to crack open and swallow me whole, but then two hands scooped me out of the snow and raised me up to the sky. Riyan held me against him, but I was still burning. I thrashed and kicked his chestand arms.
“It’s a fucking avalanche!”Riyan cried.
Riyan cradled me in his left arm and pressed me into his chest. He jumped and yanked us up the mountainside as rock crashed like a raging oceanbelow us.
