“Your mother and I always agreed that we wanted you to have this when the time came,” his father said. He placed it on the table in front of Miles. “There’s something special about the thought of my son proposing with the same ring I used when I asked your mother to marry me. And I’m sure it will lookbeautiful on Chelsea. You don’t think she’ll mind that it’s an heirloom, do you? And not a new one?”
“No, of course she won’t,” Miles said, feeling numb. Chelsea would never have objected to something like that. In fact, from what he knew of Chelsea, she would love it more than anything. The struggle here was much greater than the origin of the ring.
“I didn’t think she was the type to mind,” his father said, beaming. “Of course, you should probably get her another piece of jewelry to mark the occasion, too. Something that’s only hers.”
“Dad, hang on. You’ve got me halfway to the altar already, and I haven’t even spoken to Chelsea about this. I said I would think about it. That doesn’t mean I’ve decided to propose to her.”
“But you should,” his father said firmly. “Listen, Miles, just take the ring. You’ll make whatever decision you’re going to make, but take the ring now. Keep it with you, so that when the moment comes, you’ll have it ready. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Miles sighed. There was no point in an argument with his father about this. In fact, arguing was probably bad for the old man’s health. He picked up the ring. “You understand this doesn’t mean I’m going to ask her,” he said firmly. “I’ll take it with me. I’m grateful you and Mom wanted me to have it. And if I everdoask Chelsea, or anybody else, to marry me, it will be with this ring. But I need to be sure you understand that I don’t have any plans for doing that right now, and just because I’m taking the ring, that doesn’t mean my plans have changed.”
“Yes, yes.” His father’s tone was so dismissive that Miles knew Silas was only humoring him, and that he really did believe aproposal was going to happen. The thought made him feel sick with guilt.
I didn’t lie to him. I went out of my way to tell him the truth here—that I have no intention of proposing.
Yes, he’d told the truth. But at the same time… wasn’t he responsible for his father’s misconceptions about his situation? He was the one pretending to have a serious girlfriend. He was the one who had set his father up to believe that something might happen between Chelsea and himself.
I got his hopes up already. There’s nothing I can do about that now. The only thing I have left to decide iswhenI’m going to tell him that nothing is going to happen between Chelsea and me.
He could have broken the news right then and there, but the thought of doing it was too intimidating. He would have to work himself up to that moment and that conversation. It couldn’t happen now, when he had just been handed his mother’s engagement ring. This was the wrong moment to say something that would disappoint his father so badly.
He put the ring in his pocket instead. “Thanks for giving me the ring, Dad,” he said quietly. At least there was one thing he could be honest about. “It really means a lot to me to have it.”
“Well, it would have meant a lot to your mother, too,” his father said. “I just wish she could have been here to see this part of your life. To meet the woman you love.”
And that settled it. Even though the words were a punch to Miles’s stomach, he couldn’t have possibly told his father that he wasn’t in love with Chelsea. Not after that.
He wasn’t sure he could have said it anyway. Because therewassomething between the two of them. There had been that kiss. He would never forget the moment he had given in to the longing he felt and finally pulled her close. He couldn’t forget the taste of her and the way she had melted into his arms.
His father was right about one thing. Whatever there was between the two of them, it was unlike anything Miles had ever experienced in his life, and he didn’t want to let it go. He didn’t want to lethergo.
I can’t marry her. I know I can’t. But I was telling the truth when I told Dad I was going to be thinking about this. I think I’m going to find it hard to keep my mind off of the idea.
He let out a long sigh. Thinking about Chelsea like this was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. And now, all of a sudden, he was in over his head.
CHAPTER 18
CHELSEA
As the weeks went by and the pregnancy progressed, Chelsea began to feel as if she was on increasingly unsteady ground.
Every day felt like a game of chance. She would wake up in a fog of curiosity and trepidation, wondering which version of the shifting dynamic between Miles and herself awaited her. She could never be sure what she would find.
Some days were amazing. She would come downstairs to find that he had taken the day off work and planned something special for them. There were shopping trips to buy things for the baby, entire days in the movie-screening room watching their childhood favorites and telling stories about them, and afternoons when he came with her to the kitchen and helped her bake pies.
Then there were the days he didn’t take off work. Those days weren’t bad ones. She would spend them with Trudy, exploring new areas of the house — Miles’s library was vast and beautiful, filled with books so old she was afraid to touch some of them, until Trudy assured her that it would be all right.
But then there were other days — days when Miles was around, but things were off between them. She knew it wasn’t his fault. It was her just as much as him. She would walk into a room, take one look at him, and find herself unable to think of anything but what it had been like to kiss him. Even now, two months after that kiss — seven months into her pregnancy — she couldn’t get it out of her mind fully.
The moment she entered the kitchen, she knew that today was going to be one of those days. He was sitting at the counter in pajama pants and a T-shirt that fit him so well it left nothing at all to the imagination. The outfit let her know that he would be working from home today, but he didn’t look up at her and smile, or ask how the baby was doing.
Not that he needs to ask. He knows he doesn’t have to. He knows I’d tell him if there was anything to tell.She walked to the end of the counter and picked up a piece of toast, settling into the farthest seat from his. Her heart was already beating erratically just at the sight of him dressed the same way he had been the night they had kissed.
When she sat down, he finally glanced her way. “Are you going to eat anything else besides that toast?”
“Probably,” she said. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure the baby gets enough.” She rested a hand on her bump, which had gotten much bigger over just the past few weeks. She felt a sense of the surreal now when she looked in the mirror, and the baby kicked constantly. Even now, she could feel it rolling over as if trying to find a comfortable position.
You and me both, kid.
