“Holy crap!” she gasped after scanning the page. “Didn’t they just announce this at Comic Con? How’d you get your hands on an actual script?”
A single, humorless laugh escaped me. “How do you think?”
Sofia rubbed her chin as she considered my question. Finally, her eyes lit up. “Wait—is Violetauditioning?”
“Looks like it.”
“But I thought she was taking a break from acting to focus on her music career?”
“Yeah, I thought so too,” I replied, picking a pink sequin out of the carpet. “My dad swore we’d spend time together after all the promotional work forINwrapped up, but I guess that was just another empty promise. If Violet takes a new role, he’ll be too busy to hang out with me. My mom lives on the other side of the country, and I talk to her more often than him. It’s ridiculous.”
“Oh, Indie,” Sofia said, her face falling as she tossed the script aside. She sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“You know what pisses me off the most?” I squished the shiny, fuchsia disk in half, flicked it away, and watched as it disappeared underneath the folds of a lacy bandeau. “That Violet would even consider auditioning when she knows how muchLady Phoenixmeans to me.”
Sofia leaned back to get a better look at me, her brows pinched in confusion. “Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because if she’s cast, I won’t be able to watch the show.”
“Sorry, but I’m still not following.”
“I don’t know what part she’s auditioning for, but Violet isn’t a good fit for any of the characters. Even if she nailed the role, it wouldn’t matter. I’d still just see my sister,” I explained as I clenched and unclenched my fists. “Any time she’s on-screen, it’ll be impossible for me to suspend my disbelief. This is my fandom, my obsession. I’ve been hoping for an adaptation for years, and she’s going to ruin it for me.”
“Oh,” Sofia said as sudden understanding dawned on her face. “I never thought about it like that.”
“And on top of all my family bullshit, I still can’t figure out what to play for my audition.” Exhaustion suddenly washed over me. I let my head fall back against the bed, and I stared up at the ceiling. At one point, a scattering of glow-in-the-dark stars had lived there. Now all that remained were yellowing dots of the putty meant to keep the plastic night sky in place.
“I take it things aren’t going well?”
“Nooo,” I replied with a theatrical groan. “I wanted to finalize my repertoire by the end of summer so I’d have plenty of time to practice, but it’s like there’s a block in my brain preventing me from making any kind of decision. This shouldn’t be difficult, but I’m so stressed I’m pretty sure the pimple forming on my chin is going to be the size of Jupiter.”
“Why is that surprising?” There was a note of amusement in Sofia’s voice, like she thought my issue was self-explanatory. “This audition means everything to you. You’re terrified of choosing wrong.”
“I get that, but I’m running out of time.” I dragged a hand throughmy hair and released a heavy sigh. “I don’t know how to handle this. Normally, I do well under pressure, but the fear is paralyzing me. What if…” I trailed off, unable to say the words out loud.
“What?” she prompted.
“What if I’m not good enough to get in?” I whispered, feeling nauseous at the thought.
“Okay, I’m going to stop you right there, because you’re being ridiculous. You’re getting in, Indie. You were born to play violin like LeBron was born to play basketball or like—”
My snort cut her off. “First off, did you just compare me totheLeBron James? Because that’s sacrilege. Also, I don’t believe in all the fate crap.”
“Fine. If you’re so set on being a pessimist, what’s your backup plan?”
I shrugged. “There isn’t one. It’s always just been Juilliard.”
“Then we need to come up with one,” she said, pushing up her sleeves like she was about to get down to work. “For starters, there’s more than one elite conservatory you can apply to. Curtis Institute of Music is a phenomenal school, or there’s always Berk—”
“If I’m not good enough for Juilliard,” I interrupted, “then I won’t make the cut at Curtis either.”
Sofia took my hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze. “Then come to UC San Diego with me. Think of how much fun we’d have if we went to the same college.”
It wasn’t a terrible idea. Besides the added bonus of avoiding winter in New York, I’d get to experience what was supposed to be some of the best years of my life alongside my best friend. Still,something didn’t feel right to me, but I couldn’t pinpoint what. “I suppose that’s an option, but what would I study?” I asked.
“They have a music program, Indie.”
“Yeah… I don’t know.” I picked at a loose thread on the cuff of my flannel and avoided Sofia’s gaze. “It wouldn’t be the same.”
