My senior year in high school started out rough, got a little better, and completely plummeted by the beginning of the last semester. Right after Christmas, Mom went to the doctor because the pain in her hip and leg kept getting worse. They did some tests, and although they got all the cancer from her breast and lymph nodes, she now has bone cancer. They admitted her to the hospital on January tenth, and she has been there ever since.
For the last five weeks, our entire routine has changed. I get home from school at three thirty in the afternoon, and on days I don’t have to work, I head straight to the hospital. I visit with Mom until my dad arrives at around six. I go home, do homework, and go to bed. Dad gets home around nine, watches TV for a bit, and goes to bed as well. On days I work, I don’t get to see my mom. Dad’s been having trouble paying bills since mom isn’t working, and the doctor bills are piling up, so I got a job. I don’t mind and am glad I can help my dad. He has done so much for me in my life, and now that I am older, I can start to give back.
Mom came home from the hospital a month and a half ago, on Valentine’s Day. It’s one of her favorite holidays because she and my dad got engaged on Valentine’s Day in 1950. She would always make the holiday so memorable by making a special dinner and preparing a heart-shaped cake. And she would have presents for both dad and me. Needless to say, this Valentine’s Day is very different from those of my childhood.
Mom couldn’t walk when she got home. I don’t think she is doing better, but both Dad and I thought she would be more comfortable at home. Dad rented a hospital bed, and it now sits in our family room for all to see. I will not be returning to school. Dad contacted the principal and explained the situation. They worked it out that since I am needed to be at home to care for my mom while Dad is at work, my teachers have agreed to visit one day a week and give me my assignments a week at a time. They went above and beyond to help us and to make sure I don’t have to attend summer school and can graduate with my class.
I had to resign from the cheerleading squad too. That wasn’t my choice. I missed a game, which is a huge no-no, but I had a valid excuse. I didn’t just blow it off, because that is something I would never do. It was a Friday night varsity basketball game, and I went to the hospital to visit mom. Dad knew I had a game and would be leaving before he got there, but I was there for only thirty minutes when Mom started having issues. Doctors and nurses kept running in and out of her room. They even made me go and wait in the waiting room for almost two hours before they let me see her again. I was scared and did not want to leave until my dad got there. It still would have given me time to get to the game, just with not a lot of time to spare. But Dad got stuck with some emergency at work and didn’t show up until almost seven. By that time, it was too late to drive back to the school.
I called Mrs. Mitchell from the hospital, and she told me it was fine and she understood. So I didn’t worry about it. On Monday morning, however, I was called to her office. When I got there, the other girls from the squad—the girls who claimed they were my “friends”—were all there, and they did not look happy. Mrs. Mitchell explained that the girls voted and requested that I be removed from the squad. It appears they believed I was “blowing off” my cheerleading responsibilities. Mrs. Mitchell had no choice. Not one of them had any idea what I was going through, and not one of them cared. Mrs. Mitchell and I both tried to explain, but their vote was unanimous. Jake and my dad told me to fight it, but it wasn’t worth it. It would be an obligation that would take me from my mom, and at the time, she was not doing well, and I didn’t want to lose time with her. High school girls can be so ugly.
Dan and I broke up. With his mom being out of the picture, he said it was too hard for him to be around me, and he didn’t want to deal with me if I lost my mom. He said he just couldn’t handle it. I know everyone suffers differently, and we all deal with loss in different ways, but I think he copped out on me. If he is going to be that way, he is the last thing I need right now anyway.
On the other hand, Jake has been the best. He had even gone to the hospital with me on several occasions to visit. In the evenings, since most nights I am home alone until after nine, he came over and hung out with me. We did our homework together, and when it was all done, he’d talk about things to get my mind off my mom. I’d never had a friend like him, and I thank God for his friendship every day.
Mom has been home now for six weeks. She still cannot walk on her own, but I have gotten her up and about with a walker, and it seems to brighten her spirits. Last week, I was even able to get her in the car, and we went for a little drive and visited Dad. It really took a lot out of her, but I haven’t seen her smile like that in months. Even though it was hard on her, I believe she enjoyed it.
My grandmother has been coming down on weekends to help and is teaching me to cook. I have to say, I’m not doing too bad. Grandma is a great cook, and I’m hoping I can be close to how well she cooks. Tonight, she is here, and Jake and his parents are coming over. Mrs. Starr wants to visit with Mom, and it will be good for Dad to see Jake’s dad. Everyone is coming at six thirty, and it’s about five now.
Grandma and I are in the kitchen when all of a sudden we hear an incredible scream of pain coming from my mom. I run into the family room and can’t believe what I am seeing. She is lying in bed, but it appears her hip joint has become dislocated, because her legs are shifted to the left. And she won’t stop screaming.
My first reaction is to go help her, but as I get there, I realize I shouldn’t move her. Moving her can cause more damage, and that is the last thing I want to do.
“Mom, hang on. I’m calling nine one one.” I dial 9-1-1 and tell the operator what has happened. I give her all the info she asks for, and she says she is going to stay on the line with me. I am holding the receiver as I walk over and hold my mom’s hand. She is screaming, and I am crying. I want to help her, but there is nothing I can do but to be here with her. I’m trying to be strong, but it is hard. She is in so much pain. “They will be here any minute, Mom. Just hang on.”
Within a minute or two, I hear the siren of the ambulance.
“See, Mom? I can hear them. They are almost here.”
The siren gets louder and louder until it is in our driveway. Grandma meets them at the door and shows them into the house. They quickly shoo me away and prepare my mom to be put on a stretcher to take to the hospital. They don’t even check her vitals because it is obvious by looking at her that something is broken.
When they get her on the stretcher and ready to go, one of the paramedics asks, “Do you wanna go with her?”
Suddenly, I remember my dad is not home yet, and I can’t call him at work ’cause I don’t want him driving upset.
I look at Grandma. “Grandma, would you go with her please?” I wipe tears from my eyes. “I’ll stay here and wait for Dad, and we’ll be right behind you.” It is one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I mean, how can you choose one parent over the other? But I knew my mom was in good hands and my dad needed me.
“Of course,” she replies, and they all leave for the hospital.
“Wait!” I scream.
I run out the back door and into the driveway just as they begin to load my mom inside. I lean over and kiss her cheek. “I love you, Mom.” I look up at the paramedics and nod. “Please take good care of her.”
“Don’t you worry. She’s in good hands,” one of the paramedics says as they wheel her into the ambulance. One of the paramedics reaches his hand out for my grandma, and he helps her in the ambulance.
I go back in the house. I can’t stop crying. Everything was fine. Earlier, Mom and I argued over what we were gonna watch,General HospitalorGuiding Light.Guiding Lightwon, as it always does, but as soon as mom fell asleep for her afternoon nap, I turned the channel toGeneral Hospital.
She was fine. Happier than she had been in days. And then this.
I call Jake and explain to him what happened. “I’m so sorry about dinner,” I say into the phone.
“Oh my gosh, JJ, dinner should be the last of your worries. Do you want me to come over and wait with you until your dad gets home?”
“Would you?”
“Be there in five,” he says, and he hangs up the phone.
True to his word, Jake arrives five minutes later. We sit and talk and wait. Half an hour passes with no word from the hospital and no word from dad. He tries his best to take my mind off things, but this time, it’s not working. My heart and my mind are at the hospital.
