"Come on, darl’n," he says as he walks toward the door. I quickly follow behind. "We won't bite," he adds and then chuckles.
Holy shit. He's got the sexist laugh I have ever heard.I quickly remind myself,Get a hold of yourself, Amanda. You are not gonna sleep with him.
Once we're inside, I'm quite impressed. Well, not with the smell—the whole place smells like stale beer and cigarettes. But the main common area is nice. There is a beautiful oak bar shaped like a "U" with barstools all around it. The room contains three pool tables, video games, and a large flat-screen TV mounted on the wall. In that portion of the great room, there is a myriad of old furniture. Behind the bar is a kitchen, with a large oak table in the center. To the left of the kitchen is a stairway.
There are several members of the club sitting around; some are watching TV and some are at the bar. When we get further inside, Ice walks me over to the bar. One of the men looks up and I immediately know I could like him. He has kind eyes. Ice says, "This is Hawk. He's our VP and go-to guy. Hawk this is, uh …" He pauses. "Honey, I'm sorry, I don't know your name."
"It's Amanda," I reply.
"Well, that just won't do. Everyone here has a road name, so what’ll we call you?" He thinks for a minute and then says, "I like Honey." He looks at his VP for his thoughts on the matter and Hawk nods. Normally, a name like that would have pissed me off, but coming from him, I like it. No, that's not right. I don't like it—I fucking love it. It's his special name for me.
"Well Honey, it's damn nice to meet ya," Hawk says. I nod and smile. I could really like it here.
"I found Honey on the side of the road just outside the gate. She looked as if she needed a friend." He looks at me and winks. "Darl'n, just make yourself at home. If you need anything, Hawk here is your man."
"Thank you," I reply. Ice starts to walk away and Hawk immediately gets up and follows him. He stops Ice not far from me and they keep looking over to me as they talk. It's obvious that they are talking about me. I am beginning to feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.I don't belong here. Maybe I should just go.
Hawk walks back and sits down at the bar. "Take a seat, Honey. Ice tells me that you may be sticking around for a while." He pauses and says, "Can I get you a beer or something?"
I shake my head. "Water would be good, thank you."
Hawk gets up and walks into the kitchen. He comes back shortly with a bottle of water in his hand. "Here ya go."
I take the water from him. "Thank you."
We sit there for several minutes in silence and then Hawk says, "So Honey, what's your story?"
"No story. Just got back into town. That's all."
"So you used to live here?" he asks.
"Yep. Been gone for six years. Just got back today."
"You got family in town?"
"Not anymore. My parents passed away over a year ago. It's just me."
"So if you don't have any family here, why did you come back?"
I can't help but laugh. "I've been asking myself that same question since I got here."
"Sounds to me like you're troubled about something," Hawk states.
I look at him and smile. "Just a lot on my mind."
"Look, Honey, I'm gonna give you some advice. I know, I know, you didn't ask, but here it is. What you choose to do with it is your business." He takes a drink of his beer and continues, "It seems to me that you’re not sure if you want to be back or not. I get that. But whatever is holding you back from returning to our wonderful little town of Edinboro isn't worth you putting your life on hold for. Nothing is. Live your life, darling. It's the only life you have."
His words strike a chord with me and I ponder them thoughtfully. He's right. I shouldn't be afraid to face my demons; I should deal with them head-on. But there has always been something that’s held me back. But I think that if I hide inside the MC, ‘cause hiding is what I do best, it will give me time to face what I need to.But how do I get myself an in with these guys?I watch as one of the guys walks behind the bar and gets himself a beer when the idea hits me.
"Hawk, do you all have a bartender?"
"Naw, we just help ourselves."
"A cook?"
"Hell no. Sometimes the old ladies will cook something, but it's a rare occasion. It's a shame, too, because we have an awesome kitchen that is never used."
"Would you like one?"
