Everything was set and ready to go. Tomorrow Marco and I would wage our war.
While we’d covered all the bases we could, Felipe was likely to run. And it was entirely possible we might miss someone in his familia or an alliance with someone else who would retaliate against us.
For that reason, I’d need to keep my distance from Jo, at least until all of this was over, and the thought of that made me oddly sad.
I hadn’t known Jo for long. There were plenty of things I didn’t know about her, and things she didn’t know about me. I hadn’t told her my real occupation or the reasons why I saw Estelle so frequently.
The voice inside of me, the one that spoke with so much doubt and negativity said that if I ever came clean to Jo, she’d leave. And I wouldn’t blame her.
Even if I hadn’t been raised to think so negatively about myself, my life was dangerous. At any time, someone could hire someone to kill me, or threaten the people I cared about.
But when I’d told Estelle about that, she said, “You cannot control the future, and no matter how much you want to, you cannot protect those you love from hurt, pain, or even death. That’s part of life. What you can do is believe in yourself to handle life as it comes, and you can trust in those around you to do the same. If someone wants to leave you, that’s their decision, but by trying to make it for them, you’re doing the both of you a huge disservice. Wouldn’t it be better to enjoy the time you have with them? Make memories and allow them to enter your life and fill it with joy? Let people have a positive impact on you, Catalina. You deserve it.”
Her words stuck with me. They were what I used to get me through every time I thought I should run, every time I thought I wasn’t worth the trouble.
I deserved to have good people in my life, people I could let in and show how much they meant to me—like Marco, my familia, and Jo.
After my therapy session today, Estelle had given me homework to tell at least one positive person in my life that I cared for them. And in all honesty, it was the perfect time to do so. After all, while I wanted to believe in the best possible outcome, we were about to step into a war. There was no telling how things might go.
The problem was, I didn’t quite know how to. But I knew someone who did.
I called Jo, and she answered on the second ring.
“Hey! I was hoping I would hear from you today.” Her voice, as always, was warm, happy, and peaceful. I let it wash over me and calm my nerves.
“Really? You’re not too busy?”
“No, never for you. Plus, you sound off.”
“Things are a little… tense. There’s a lot happening all at once, and I’m not sure how it’s going to pan out.”
Jo hummed in agreement. “You said you were facing off against a competitor, right?”
That was the lie I’d gone with, the closest thing I could say to the truth. “Yes, and he’s a piece of work.”
“Just be careful, and if you need anything, I’m here.”
“Jo, I could never involve you in anything dangerous.” The thought of her being hurt broke my heart. I’d be devastated if it was because of me.
“Just remember what I said. I can handle a lot more than you think I can.”
Her voice had a firmness to it that I didn’t understand. She was always saying things like that, as if she’d experienced more violence and danger than I could ever imagine.
I wanted to ask, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to pry, and sometimes I wondered if she felt the same about me. But I hoped one day we’d be able to share those pieces of ourselves with one another.
“How did therapy go?” she asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Estelle whooped my ass as usual,” I huffed.
Jo barked out a laugh. “Is it too sore for you to sit down?”
“Almost. I don’t know how you’ve survived so many years with her. She gave me homework, Jo.Homework! I thought I’d get a reprieve since we’d be out of touch for the week, but she just doubled down. She’s worse than any professor I had in college.”
“That’s Estelle, all right. Her brand of therapy is gentle and blunt. It works though.”
“Unfortunately, it does." I bit my lip. "That’s actually why I’m calling.”
“Oh?”
