He’s lost a ton of weight in the last few weeks, his gnarly fingers spread limply on top of the quilt my grandmother made. Farmer’s hands, which once held me as an infant, carried me as a toddler and taught me how to plant, fish, and hammer as a boy.
I know it’s almost time to let go of my grandfather’s hands—to break free and find my way without him to hold on to anymore. To be a man on my own. With my decision made, I’m determined to make him proud.
“What time is it?” Pop’s voice is laced with grogginess, the sky out the window darkening after a dramatic sunset during standard time above the fields.
“It’s not that late. Did I wake you?” I shift in my seat and gently pat his hand.
“No. I’m just surprised to see you here this time of day. Still thinking about our talk from last week?” He motions for his water bottle.
I’m quick with the straw to his lips and watch as he takes a long pull of spring water.
“Yes. I’ve made a decision.”
“Oh?”
“Yes.” I hesitate for the briefest of seconds before I allow the words to leave my mouth. “I’ve decided I’m going to sell part of the farm.”
He presses his eyes closed as if he’s sad. “That is a very brave thing to do.”
“I’m not brave, Pop.”
“Yes, you are. You’re daring to imagine your life could be different.”
“Life will be different, especially without you.”
He sighs. “I’m sorry, son. I never meant for it to end this way. But look on the bright side. You’ll still have the flower fields, the barn, and your cottage. You’re happiest in those places.”
“Yes.”
“So tell me, what made you come to your decision?”
I scratch at the scraggly beard covering my face, another layer to keep people at bay.
“Well, I did what you suggested and wrote down my options. There were really only two to choose from, and both have risks and rewards.”
“Very true.”
“I feel like I’ve been stuck at a big fork in the road. If I try to run the farm alone, I know I’ll set myself up for failure. But keeping the parts I know I can handle won’t be too terrible.”
My grandfather laces his fingers together on top of the quilt and nods. “The stakes are high; you don’t want to get this wrong. But I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“I know.” I bow my head. “But a decision has to be made. If I do nothing, I may end up losing… everything.”
“Well, you know you have an entire community of folks who aren’t going to let that happen. My first priority has always been to make sure your basic needs are met. Miss Simpkins is ready and willing to be your advisor. She’s agreed to oversee your financial portfolio. You’ve known her for a long time. She’s trustworthy.”
“I know.”
Pop’s eyes narrow as he stares up at me. “And you still haven’t heard back from Madison?”
I keep quiet and shake my head. I confided with my grandfather about my feelings for her and how disappointed I was when she ghosted me. Pop seemed upset too, but hasn’t said much about it.
“And you’re sure you want to sell the other half of the farm to Kip Johnson?”
I stand and pace at the foot of my grandfather’s bed. “I know he’s chomping at the bit to own this house and part of the land. He’s even offered top dollar. And I know I’ll still be able to sell him the lavender and other flowers to make a profit. He fully agreed to that stipulation.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
I stand tall with my hands firmly planted on my hips. “I just don’t want to be neighbors with a jerk like him.”
