“And I may have gotten you something, prior to even seeing the list,” I add, fumbling the entire conversation.
“Adam …”
“Listen. Just take it. I want to help. Call it selfish because I want to know all the things baby related, and this is the way that happens.”
“You’ve done far too much already,” she says.
That makes me laugh. “I haven’t done anything. I should have done more from the get-go. I’m sorry it took me six months to even find you.” Setting my sandwich down, I get up and grab the phone from my bag. “Here.” I hand it to her and watch as she immediately breaks down in tears. “Shit, I fucked up.” Frantically looking around, I try to come up with something that will stop her crying, but I come up empty.
“No, God no.” She sniffs. “This is so incredibly nice and thoughtful, and thank you so damn much. I cry at everything; just get used to it.” She stands up and rushes over to me. Arms wrap around me, squeezing me hard, as her tears soak my T-shirt. And now I feel like even more of a piece of shit for not doing something sooner.
“Don’t thank me. You shouldn’t have just been here alone for six months.”
“Not like I had much else to do.” She chuckles, but I don’t find it funny.
“So, what’s the plan for the day? Need any help with your lists?” I gesture to the notebook.
“Um … Actually, yeah, that would be great. Have you heard form Masie yet?”
“Nothing yet. I expect it to take her a while honestly. There’s not a ton of information known about those artifacts past a certain point, so I’m not sure she’ll get us any answers. We’ll see, though.”
“Sometimes, I wish I went into something history related like that.” Claire lets out a happy sigh.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean, there are so many incredible things that happened and so many incredible artifacts, stories, and systems that came from them. I always think about how awful it is to just lose cultures over time.”
I try to hide my smile, but I’m unsuccessful.
“What?” she asks.
“Why don’t you shift your blog from traveling to history and artifacts? I happen to know a wonderful researcher who could help get your foot in the door.”
“Masie? You think she would help me?” There’s a twinge of excitement in her tone.
“Oh, totally. I bet you could help her organize too.” I chuckle.
“Somehow, I don’t think she wants her office to look any different. But maybe, when she’s done with the stuff we got from Cano, I’ll talk to her.”
“Good plan.”
Claire spends the next three hours setting up the phone and working on something that I don’t understand for her blog while I get to sit back and watch her in action. This is how I imagine her if we had met pre-Oscar shit. I wish I could say she was less jaded, but there’s still that sadness in her eyes that may never go away.
But for today? I did something good for her. It’s a start to righting some wrongs and hopefully getting closer to her.
Chapter 28
Claire
It’s doctor’s appointment day. My twenty-week ultrasound—better late than never—is today, and I’ve bitten every single one of my nails to the quick. Not because I’m nervous about seeing the baby—I’m ecstatic—but because Adam will be there. It will make it real for him and therefore more real for me.
This is the day where he’ll realize we’re not worth the hassle. I have so much to work through that I don’t blame him if he wants to walk away. I’m not holding him here, and I won’t ever pressure him to be in our lives.
But fuck if I don’t want him to be. He’s been so fucking good to me, taking care of me in ways I never thought I would like. He doesn’t flip out when I cry hysterically at something random online or because he made me dinner.
I’m a hot mess, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But he’s there by my side through it all. He’s showing me the kind of man he really is. And I really love the man I’m seeing. It gives me hope that this baby will be okay. That they’ll have one parent who has their shit together and will not fuck up their life.
