“Can I just spew my thoughts, even if they’re shitty and don’t make sense?” I ask, knowing I have many, many thoughts that I need to get out.
“Please.”
“God, I don’t even know where to start. I was pissed as fuck when you told me we were still married. It was such a shock that I didn’t even know how to act. When I got home, this weird sense of relief hit, and that just made me angrier. You crushed me, plain and simple. I feel like I’m lucky everything with my parents happened at the same time because no one questioned why I was so broken, and that’s super shitty to say, but I didn’t want to explain anything to do with us to anyone.
“I was over you. I thought I was over you…” I feel wetness on my cheeks, but I don’t stop because I need to get this out. “But it still hurts so fucking much. And you’re the asshole who never left my heart, and I’m so mad at you for that. I was so mad when you moved back here. It was easier to be angry at you than to analyze how I actually felt when you came back. I honestly don’t know if I can move past all of this, but I really want to. And that makes me even more annoyed with myself because I shouldn’t want you still, but I do.” I heave out a breath and look over at him.
“I’m so sorry I put you through all of that. And I know I don’t deserve another chance with you, but fuck, I want one, Emmerdeur. It’s alwaysbeen you; it will only ever be you. If it takes you years to forgive me, I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“You’re not allowed to say things like that.” I let out a watery chuckle.
His hand reaches up, fingers grazing my cheeks to wipe away the tears.
“I know I did everything wrong with you, with us, but I’m trying to be better, to be someone worthy of you every single day. Even if at the end of the day you decide I’m not what you want, I’ll continue to try to be worthy of you.”
A make-or-break moment. That’s what this feels like. And I want to make it.
Grabbing the hand that’s on my cheek, I pull it away and kiss his palm, subtly telling him I’m ready to move past all the heartache.
Chapter 28
Arlo
I don’t know how I got this lucky, but I’m not second-guessing a thing. That’s not to say we’re completely good. I know we still have a lot to work on, but she’s taking a chance again. It’s better than I could have hoped for. The merry-go-round we’ve been on finally feels like it’s coming to a stop.
I lean forward, resting my forehead on hers.
“Thank you,” I whisper before pressing my lips to hers. An overwhelming feeling of rightness surrounds me. This is where I’m supposed to be, with Rina, always.
Our kiss grows deeper, tongues tangling as I grip her jaw in my palm. I can’t remember the last time I just kissed her, and it’s glorious. I think I could live the rest of my life only kissing this woman and be totally complete.
I break the kiss, Rina gasping as I move to her jaw and down her neck. The sudden urge to mark her, to show anyone who looks at her that she’s finally mine after all this time, is too strong to ignore. I nip her neck before moving to that spot where her shoulder meets it. My teeth sink into her. A breathless moan greets my ears as I lick the abused flesh.
“Fuck, I missed you so much,” I murmur into her skin. ”I’m never letting you go again. You’re mine, Emmerdeur.”
“Show me,” she moans as her hips lift against my thigh to get friction.
“You want me to show you how hard you get me? Show you exactly how little it takes to work me up around you? Or do you want me to show you I still know exactly how to work your body? Coax out every ounce of pleasure from your bones before finally giving you what you really want?”
“Jesus, where did your mouth come from?” She groans as her nails rake down my chest.
“You didn’t want more than sex before. It was safer to stay quiet.” I shove my borrowed T-shirt up as she arches against my chest, not caring if I have to rip it off her damn body. I need her naked now.
Leaning back on my knees, my fingertips feather from the bite mark I just gave her down to breasts. Gently circling her nipple before cupping her, I take a minute to just look at her. Tattoos cover more of her body than not. It’s not that I hadn’t noticed them—obviously I had, especially the colorful sleeves she has—but I’ve never gotten the time to just look at them.
A vine of thorns forms the curve under both breasts. Words line her ribcage, causing me to lean in closer to read them.
The strongest hearts are the ones that have been broken.
“Tattoos became a way to ease the pain, to release it,” she whispers.
“Maybe one day, I can be the cause of a happy tattoo instead of a sad one.” I kiss along the words, vowing to make that a reality.
My tongue drags along her stomach, feeling it contract under my touch as I slip my fingers into her panties. Dragging them down her smooth legs is an erotic dance that makes me glad my basketball shorts are still on.
Leaning back once more with her completely naked, I tip my head back and thank whomever I need to for letting me be with Rina in this moment. My hand reaches for her foot before bringing it up to my lips. Pressing soft kisses to every inch of skin I can reach, I drift up her leg.
“What are you doing?” she asks with a shuttering breath.
