Thirty minutes later, I’m still waiting for a response, and finishing up this paperwork is not happening. I’m antsy as hell, my knee is bouncing, and I’m drumming my fingers on the desk. My brain is coming up with every scenario, and none of them are good for me. I’m about to walk my ass over to Grind Time when my phone finally pings.
Oakley:
7:00, Alessandro’s Steakhouse.
Me:
Thank you very much.
Oakley:
I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but don’t just rush over there. Take a step back before you do anything stupid. Rina will be pissed if you just show up.
She’ll be pissed off either way, but he doesn’t know that. All I know is I need a plan because there is no way in hell she’s going out with another man. Even if I have no right to demand it, I’ll drag her ass from that restaurant before she goes out with anyone else.
Me:
I will try. Thanks for looking out, Oakley.
Oakley:
Don’t make me regret it. Willow will skin me alive if this goes south.
The Hutton sisters are not to be messed with, and it’s good Oakley realizes that already. I don’t bother with a reply. Instead, I focus my attention on the remaining paperwork. I have enough time to finish this and think about what I’m going to do about this date situation.
Can I do anything? I don’t really know. If I asked Rina, I bet she would say I have no right to feel this intense jealousy. And she’s probably right, honestly. I know she’s dated since we split up, but if it was anything serious, I would have figured something out. One good thing about all the gossip in this town is staying updated on Rina’s extracurriculars, however fucked up that is.
Being faced with my failure is eye-opening. Of course, I’ve harbored guilt over how things went down with Rina. I’ve never forgotten her, and I sure as shit never wanted to give her up. And up to this point, I’ve never physically seen her out with anyone. She’s been too busy building her business, and that worked for me. If she went on a date, it was a one-off and everyone moved on.
I can see now how fucked up and selfish that is. I want to believe she’s doing this shit out of spite for me. Especially after our conversation at the falls. But there’s a voice in the back of my head that says I need to step up and figure out how to make her mine again. In my mind, she’s always been mine; however, that’s not actual reality. If I really want a shot at this, I need to figure out how to get her to hear me out. That’s the first step. There are about a million more steps to get us to a place where we can move forward, but I can’t think about that. I need to figure out this step first because nothing happens without that being successful.
If only there was a way to google: How to get your girl back after you abandoned her and broke her heart while also trying to deal with your own shit, like an injury you’ve never really come to peace with.
The answer is probably therapy. I did the mandatory appointments needed to be medically discharged but never followed through after. Maybe I was too stubborn, and I need to think about going back to being the kind of person Rina should have in her life. It just feels … impossible and scary. Analyzing why I did what I did when the end result destroyed my world is something I don’t willingly want to do. Why bring up all the pain when it’s easier to just bury it deep in the recesses of my brain?
I sit back in my chair and think about that statement. Yeah, I need to work on that. Having this mindset will get me nowhere with Rina fast, and I know it.
However, I can’t let her just go out on this date tonight. I think a huge chunk of my already bruised and battered heart will break off if I do.
Scrubbing my hand over my face, I contemplate my options. Anything I do will have Rina pissed off at me, but am I willing to dig the hole a little deeper to stop her from dating? As fucked up as it is, yes.
I cringe, but the possessive side of me can’t let it happen. Ever since I felt her come around my cock again, it triggered the voice that screamsmineevery single time I think about the woman.
Fuck.I lean my head back, looking at the ceiling.
I’m about to make a very stupid and impulsive decision. I know it will bite me in the ass, but my rational brain is nowhere to be found right now.
I look at the clock and see I’ve spent the last two hours alternating between work and self-reflection. If I’m going to do anything about this fucking date of hers, I need to leave now. I hastily shuffle all the paperwork on my desk together and slide it into a drawer before locking it. I’ll just have to deal with it tomorrow. Jumping up, I smooth a hand down my chest and stomach, making sure my shirt isn’t wrinkled before wrinkling my nose at my attire. It’s not really steakhouse appropriate, but I doubt I’ll be staying long. It’ll have to do.
Rina can yell at me about it later when I’m fucking her to exhaustion.
Hopefully.
Chapter 12
Rina
This was a terrible idea.
