Her hand snakes down in between us, gripping me hard and making my knees buckle. Tilting my head back, I breathe out a steady stream of air in an attempt to not come in a minute flat. Once I’ve let her have her fun, I swat her hand out of the way and move mine to her pussy. Heat and wetness greet me, and it makes me feel ten feet tall. I’ve still got it; I still turn her on.
Pride hits my chest as I slip a finger inside of her. When she moans, memories bombard my head, sending me back in time. Back when the world was at our feet and I didn’t fuck up the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
I shake my head, ridding myself of the depressing thoughts that usually only float around my head in the dead of night. Now is not the time to reminisce; it’s time to focus on getting this beautiful woman off and providing a bit of stress relief for her.
And me.True, but my main focus is and will always be Rina.
I tap her clit a couple of times and watch as her head thumps against the front door. Sliding my fingers down, I thrust two in without preamble and watch her almost instantly come apart for me. She wasn’t lyingwhen she said she was pent up. It’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever witnessed, and I let her ride it out before I pull away.
Bending down to get the condom from my pocket, I glance up as I tear it open to see Rina sag against the front door, her head tilted back as she pants. She’s a sight to behold. It brings up too many memories, too many thoughts about what could have been. I roll the condom on before stepping back to her and cupping her ass in my hands to hoist her up the door to bring her level with me. Notching my cock at her entrance, I don’t hesitate.
In an instant, I’m surrounded by her. It’s overwhelming being inside of her again. She fits me too well, and I have to pause to get a fucking grip on myself, especially when I hear her suck in a breath. Her legs wrap around my waist, holding me tight to her, and a wave of nostalgia takes over. Squeezing my eyes tight, I try to tuck all the memories back into the box I usually shove them in. I can’t let them take over. Rina wants nothing to do with the past; hell, she barely wants anything to do with me in the present. She made it very clear that my dick is the only thing I’m good for currently, and I need to remember that.
When her legs squeeze against my ass, I take the hint and tune out my over-analyzing thoughts. Moving one of my hands off her ass, I grip the back of her neck, drawing her lips to mine as I pull back and thrust hard. She whimpers into me, and any restraint I had is gone. My hips take on a mind of their own, and I chase our orgasms.
I pour everything I’ve felt since our kiss in the hospital into our kiss now, hoping she can’t see how much being with her again is getting to me. Judging by her moans, she’s too focused on the pleasure I’m giving her to notice how fucking conflicted I am.
She breaks the kiss, throwing her head back against the door again as my grip at the base of her neck tightens. I can feel my orgasm just below the surface. My toes are tingling, and my balls draw up, telling me I have very limited time left. But I won’t come without her.
I shift my hand to her throat, slightly tightening my fingers to give her the feeling of cutting off her breathing but not actually doing so. She clenches against me and almost sends me over the edge, but it also means she’s close.
I feel her swallow against my grip, and it turns me on so much. I want to see her on her back with my cock deep in her throat, my hand resting softly on her throat, feeling her take me.
Her hips start to meet my thrusts, so I release my grip on her ass and shove my hand between us to reach her clit. I need her to come now, or I’ll be dangerously close to breaking my rule that she always comes first.
She yelps at first contact and arches her back so hard that I’m worried she’ll fall to the floor. I squeeze the hand around her throat a little harder as I push deep to pin her to the door.
Gasping, she pulses around me, and the relief of feeling her come is almost too much. I thrust a few more times and tilt my head back, releasing her neck and slamming my hand against the door as I come inside of the woman I’ve always loved but whose heart I’ll never have again.
The intense relief is over too fast. I gently lower her to the ground as I pull out and watch as she refuses to make eye contact with me.
I knew. God,I knewthis would happen. But it doesn’t lessen the pain in my chest at seeing her avoid my eyes. Ripping off the condom and shoving it into my pocket, I move to pull up my pants and grab my shirt. I don’t even bother putting it on because I know if I spend more timehere, I’ll lose it completely. I’ll tell her how badly I fucked up, how my eyes always find her in town. I’ll tell her it’s always been her. And I know with every fiber of my being that she doesn’t want that.
She shuffles to the side, and I pause before storming out. Tilting my head to the ceiling, I breathe through the hurt before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her cheek. No words are needed. As phenomenal as that just was, it doesn’t change things between us, no matter how much I wish it did.
She sucks in a breath when my lips touch her cheek. My heart pounds in my chest, instantly filled with regret, and I hate it.
I step away, opening the front door just enough to slip out before slowly closing the door and heading to my truck.
Once I’m finally alone in the cab, I let everything that just happened sink in.
So many thoughts swirl in my head, but the one that sticks out is that no matter how much it hurts me, if she asked me to do this again, I would in a heartbeat. Just the chance to be close to her in any capacity is worth all the pain I feel as a result.
Turning on the ignition, I take one last look at Rina’s house, seeing the curtain shift before I pull out and head home.
My head is a fucking mess.
I came home and jumped in the shower before flopping on my bed. I haven’t moved an inch, and judging by the moon shining through my window, it’s been a few hours.
The self-loathing and guilt hit almost instantly on the drive home and have done nothing but grow. I don’t know why I agreed to go over to Rina’s house. I knew it would wreck me, knew it would just give her more reason to hate me, but damn was the temptation too strong.
I just wanted to be with her one last time.
Too bad all it did was make me want her more. Once was never going to be enough, and I fucking knew that driving over there. Yet I seem to be a glutton for punishment.
Yep, my head is fucked.
I think about the little piece of paper sitting in my safe. The piece of paper that would change everything if Rina knew about it. Or maybe she would just hate me more if that’s possible.
