“You should have known.” I don’t relent. I can’t. I just had Willow sobbing on my chest for God knows how long, and any explanation he gives me is not good enough.
How do I even look at her and tell her this? How do I tell her I got stabbed and she had to save the day because a team of fucking experts got tricked?
How can she even look at me?
Lord knows I’ll have trouble looking in the mirror.
“Oak, man, I know this whole thing was fucked up, but it’s over.”
“Sure, it’s over. I just got stabbed, and Lennox is sitting in the ICU. Things will magically be fine because you get to fly back home in a couple of days.”
“I’m going to ignore all the shit you just said because you’ve been through a lot. You’re emotional and probably a little high on the good drugs, but believe me, we will be having this conversation again in a few days. I feel shitty enough that we got duped by that fucker and weren’t there for you guys.” His anger shouldn’t shock me, but it does. Subconsciously, I know I’m being a dick, but Willow’s breakdown has me so on edge that I don’t know how to even express how I’m feeling. Woodcroft is probably feeling the same guilt I am, and it’s not fair to put more on him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I’m doing a lot of apologizing today, and somehow none of it feels like enough. My eyes burn, trying to keep the tears in, but they fall in defiance.
“Oh, Oak,” Woodcroft murmurs before I feel him lean over and hug me.
My shoulders shake with the outpour of emotion.
“I’m no good here,” I say through the tears. “I hurt everyone. Willow deserves better than this.”
“Shhh. We can talk about it later, but you deserve everything you’ve built here, okay? Just remember that.”
I don’t bother disagreeing, I’m too busy letting the events of the day—hell, of the past few years—settle in.
Tennison is dead.
I haven’t let myself think that yet, and it feels less relieving than I thought it would.
Years of work. Years of him mentally taking his toll. Years of being on high alert.
And it’s just over.
It’s strange how, in a matter of hours, everything you’ve worked for is over. How does a person just move on from something that’s held such a large part of their life? Do you forget things ever happened? I know I attempted to do just that by moving here, but it wasn’t like I actually forgot everything.
Impossible, if I want to keep Willow in my life, but what else is there? Therapy, sure. I assume I’ll be needing it for years to come just to cope, but can you truly move on and be happy? Live a fulfilled life?
They’re all questions I have no answers for. I suspect no one does because, as humans, we’re all different. We all cope and heal differently. But fuck, it would be nice to have a solid answer for once.
The only thing I can do is question if my place is really here in Bluebell Falls. Can I continue to do more good than harm during this phase of healing? Is love enough to conquer this giant chasm of my own creation?
Chapter 32
Willow
Apparently, being in shock is a little more serious than I thought. They hooked me up to an IV and gave me some medication I can’t remember the name of, but it calmed my panic and made me fall asleep fast. I woke up a few minutes ago in a little bit of a haze, but now that I’ve figured out where I am, things have cleared up.
Now, what’s hitting me is processing everything—well, attempting to.
Lennox, Oakley, and I are in the hospital. I should be released today, according to the very nice nurse who answered a million of my questions. Tennison is dead. And Lennox needs all of our support.
It’s heady. Our sleepy little town hasn’t ever had this much excitement, and the fallout from it will affect everyone. The thing I know with absolute certainty is that every single resident will come together to help in whatever way they can.
A knock sounds at my door before it cracks open and Rina’s head pops in. She looks exhausted, and I feel terrible for putting more shit on her plate with my freakout. She gives me a small smile as she pushes the door open and comes in, Ledger following behind.
“Good morning,” Rina says in a subdued tone, and it almost makes me cry again. She’s so strong-willed, and to see her this worn down is hard.
Ledger looks about the same, except I can see the heavy weight of responsibility that’s on his shoulders. It’s lessened since he got with Ainsley—he was moving more into a brotherly role instead of a parental one—but that’s all disappeared now.
