“I … I’m fine. I saw you but I feel like shit for scaring you.”
This man may have unknowingly hurt me, but he’s the most thoughtful person I know.
“I’m fine, really. I just couldn’t sleep, and it was a stupid move to come out here alone. Thought I’d be a badass and hoped a walk would help me sleep.” I grin, trying to lighten to mood.
But he isn’t having any of it.
“Why are you out here alone?” His tone shifts to complete seriousness, and the flashlight on his face highlights his clenched jaw.
He looks super fucking hot like this, which is wildly inappropriate right now.
“I impulsively thought a walk could help, and I didn’t actually consider what a walk at midnight in a tree-heavy national park would look like.” I ramble.
He grunts but says nothing, and it’s unnerving.
“You’ve got to be more careful.” His gruff tone catches me off guard more.
“You know, I don’t understand you. How the fuck can you act so concerned right now?” I know I’m starting to raise my voice, but seriously? He’s going to pull a protective act, like he didn’t fuck me and then leavelike I was nothing more than a warm hole to fill? No, thanks. I’m not putting up with this shit.
“Willow—”
“No. This is bullshit, James. What did I do to deserve to be treated that way? I mean, sure, the sex is always great, but that last time? Do you know how fucking hurt I was?” It feels like the week I’ve been avoiding him has finally bubbled over and all my hurt is crumbling at my feet.
“I do.” He says it so softly I can barely hear him over my heavy breathing. “And I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I— What?” I think I misheard him.
“I fucked up, so badly. I learned some new information about Tennison that I didn’t handle well, and I thought my head was clear enough. God, I wanted it to be clear enough to not take it out on you, and I fucked up. I shouldn’t have even come to your house. I never want you to feel like you aren’t important to me. Nothing could be further from the truth.”
“Did you ever stop to think that you could just talk to me?” I don’t want to be this vulnerable right now, but I do want to see if maybe, just maybe, he’s realized I could be more.
“At the time? No. But I’ve been forced to do a lot of thinking in the last week—thank you for that, by the way. And I … I had a phone call with the therapist I talked to when I left the Marshals. He made me step back and realize a lot of things, honestly, but that’s not the point. The point is I fucked up, and I really need you to see how sorry I am. Selfishly, because this past week has been the absolute worst.”
“You talked to your therapist?” I’m not sure why that little nugget of information is sticking with me the most, but it’s huge. I don’t really care about the reason he made the call, but what I do care about is thathe sounds so honest and humbled right now. I wish I could see his face, see the emotion I’m sure is showing all over it.
“I did. If I want to make my future into one I’m proud of—”
I stop thinking. For the first time in a week, my brain quiets. I step up to him, cutting off his words to pull him down to me and kiss him.
I kiss him with all the feelings I’ve been shoving down in the recesses of my brain. All the feelings for him that I’ve been desperate to hide and act like they aren’t there. I kiss him because he didn’t just apologize; he took fucking action.
And that’s the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen.
One of his huge arms wraps tight around my middle and the other boosts me up by my ass, letting me wrap my legs around his waist.
I will never get over our size difference and how it allows him to just throw my ass around wherever he wants.
I missed this.
I missed him.
And I know we need to sit down and talk more about … everything, but right now? I need him.
I need the way he knows exactly how to handle me. How he can get my brain to shut off with a well-placed kiss or the restraints he loves to use on me.
I feel him move, but it’s so dark I can’t really see where he’s going. Our lips are still connected in the type of kiss that makes me think I could be a romantic. When my back hits a tree, the rough scrape somehow heightens my arousal. I’m so fucking turned on. I know it’s not going to take long.
He rips his lips from mine, nuzzling my neck with his nose.
