The house is dark when I walk in, and I don’t bother turning on any lights. I walk to the bedroom and collapse onto the bed. Inhaling deeply, I can smell the faint scent of the very man I’m trying to avoid.
Why is the sex so fucking good? Why can’t I just keep my feelings from bleeding into my everyday life and keep him as some fun on the side?
Because he’s a good man who treats you like you’ve never been treated before.
It’s the little things that stick in my mind the most. The lunches, the homemade dinners disguised as him cooking too much. It’s the never-ending flow of lattes when I’m so immersed in writing I don’t even look up to care about my needs.
But James Oakley sees it all. He sees me.
Even if he wants to ignore this connection.
Even if he wants to act like we wouldn’t be great together and all the things he does are normal.
Even if he’s afraid.
Chapter 16
Oakley
Me
Do you want chicken pesto or margherita today?
Willow
I don’t think I’m coming in today, sorry Oakley. I’m on a roll, so I’m going to stay in and try to get as much done as possible. I only have about a week to finish the book.
I rest my forehead on my desk and take a deep breath, trying to calm my raging anxiety. It’s been like this all week. She’s been avoiding me, and I know she has every reason to, but it’s still tearing me apart inside.
I know I fucked up. I told myself not to take my bad mood out on Willow, and that’s exactly what I did. She didn’t deserve the way I treated her. She may have acted like everything was fine, but I saw the hint of tears, the dejection on her face.
Hell, that’s the exact reason I can’t want more with her. Look what I did when there weren’t real feelings at stake.
Keep telling yourself there aren’t real feelings at play, buddy.
And that’s the problem, isn’t it?
I’m already too far gone with her, but I’m not in a place to be what she needs as a partner. And the way I treated her when I showed up to her house? I’m so ashamed of myself. There’s no excuse and certainly no reason she should forgive me, even if she does hear me out.
And I don’t feel right just barging over to her house to apologize. She’s working and doesn’t need me to interrupt her with an apology she may or may not want.
A knock at the door startles me, and I look up to see Brittany at the door.
“Hey, I’m about to head out. Do you need anything? I can stay,” she offers, and I feel like shit. She’s been picking up the slack this week since my head is noticeably elsewhere.
“Nah. Thank you, though. Go home. Enjoy your afternoon.” I get up to head up front with her.
The front door dings as we make it to the counter, and I wave Brittany off as Ledger comes in.
“Hey, long time, no see. How are things going?” I ask, trying to not ask anything about how Willow is.
“It’s busy as fuck, man. Ainsley’s been working nonstop, so I figured I’d stop in here, and grab her favorite sandwich and coffee to slow her down a bit.” The pure love in his eyes would normally have me rolling my eyes. But now? I wonder if I have that look in my eyes when I think about Willow.
“I’m on it. Anything for yourself?”
“Yeah, I’ll take my usual.”
I nod and get the sandwiches going before turning to the espresso machine. “So, how’s the family,” I ask and try to hide my wince at how obvious I feel like I’m being.
