“Hey, I’m not telling you this to compare. I just want you to know more of my history, more of why I am the way I am.”
“You make that sound like the way you are is something bad, but I happen to think you are the best kind of man, Ledg.” She presses a soft kiss to my lips.
“I honestly think you’ve made me a good man,” I admit in a whisper.
“And I think you’ve made me realize there is more to life than what I relegated myself to.”
She presses her lips to mine again, and I just feel whole. For the first time in my life, I feel like all my hard work, all of my sacrifices, have led me to this woman. Lead me to this life I want so desperately for us. I know we have things to work through still, but I have never felt surer about something in my life than I am of Ainsley and me.
She pulls away and settles herself on my shoulder as I trace patterns on her exposed shoulder.
“I think I’ve had two boyfriends total in my life. And they were both in high school.” She chuckles. “God, that sounds ridiculous. I don’t know why I gave up on this idea of finding a person for me, but by the time I got into the workforce, I didn’t care enough to try to date. Hell, I didn’t really have time. There were weeks I was working seventy to eighty hours. My job made it so I couldn’t even think of anything outside of making clients more money. I don’t think I realized how messed up it all was until Larkin got with Theo and they adopted Gavin.”
She takes a deep breath, and I pull her a little closer to me. She’s opening up to me in a way she never has before, and I don’t want to do anything to interrupt that, but I need her to know I’m here for her.
“Gavin changed everything for me. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him. I would pick him up from school, make time to havedinner with him. He changed my entire priority system. But then that promotion came up, and I knew I would probably only have one to two chances at it. The firm I worked at was very unforgiving and rarely gave second chances. So I applied, worked my ass off, and saw Gavin less. I hated every second of it, but I knew this was the only way to get ahead. The promise of more money and better hours was too tempting.
“Not getting the position was one thing, but being taken advantage of? Having the guy that got the position treat me like his assistant and start being sexually suggestive was my last straw.”
I squeeze her a little tighter, not for her but for me. My anger takes over, hearing the shit that guy put her through, and I want nothing more than to find him and pound his face into the pavement.
“It’s fine, I promise,” she placates me. “I’m not telling you this to get you worked up.” She already knows me so well, and she doesn’t even realize it.
“I know, but I swear if you ever run into that man, ever get a phone call, anything… I will not hesitate to show what the pieces of shit deserves.”
She looks up at me with a giant smile on her face.
“You’re quite sexy when you get all alpha and protective.”
“I’m only this way with you, Ains.”
“I know. I love it.” She smirks. “Anyway, I started writing things down, documenting the shit he was doing. I thought I was getting ahead, but he was devious and beat me to the punch. My already lacking trust in men was obliterated.
“I had every intention of hiding out here, only interacting when it came to my parents and getting food. I didn’t trust anyone, and I wanted to lick my wounds in peace. Feeling like I had failed at everything took over. Honestly, I still kind of feel that way,” she admits.
“Ains…”
“I know, I know. We did wonderful things at the conference, and I’m actually loving this job, but is this what I truly want to do with the rest of my life?”
I know she’s not asking to diminish her role with my company. But I also know she’s right. I need to figure out how to restructure the company to give her more responsibility, more ownership. Something to keep her happy and feeling like she’s making a difference.
“I still have a lot to figure out in my life, and I need you to understand I might be bad at this.”
“Bad at what, baby?” I ask because she’s good at everything she puts her mind to from what I’ve seen.
“Relationships, being open with you, and communicating what I need. I’ve been a loner for too long, and I don’t know how to shift that way of thinking.”
“I think you’re doing a hell of a job right now,” I offer.
“We’ll see if I can stick to it. I just need you to know trust comes very slowly from me.”
More things click in my brain, and I start to realize why she was hesitant for so long.
“And lying to you about who I was made you doubt everything again. I’m so sorry, Ains. “
“I will admit, the whole situation threw me for a huge loop. But you know what helped?” she asks.
“What?”
