I stare at her in disbelief.
“Have I been making this harder than it needs to be?” I whisper.
“No. Maybe. Our situations are different. Ledger is your boss, so that adds another layer to it all. And after what your old boss did, you have every right to be cautious. Now, what about your job? You’re having a hard time figuring out where to go from here?” she asks in a motherly tone that I have to smile at.
“I have no idea where I go from here. This job was supposed to be temporary,” I remind her.
“But it doesn’t have to stay temporary.”
“But is this what I’m destined to do? Be an assistant forever?”
“Not if you don’t want to. You can always bring it up to Ledger and see if there is another option within the company for you.”
“I can’t ask him that,” I huff.
“Why not?”
“Because he hired me to be an assistant. And what do I know about landscaping?”
“You know enough to create an impressive presentation that stole the show at the conference.” I called her when we got home from Vegas, so dang excited about that presentation.
“What if I look into a new finance job that’s not in this area?” I ask, even though just saying it cracks a fissure into my heart.
Larkin shrugs like it’s no big deal. “If that’s what you want to do, then go for it.”
“Well, that’s not helpful at all,” I mutter.
“You want helpful?” she asks,and I nod.
“You are happier in the last couple of months than I’ve seen you in a decade. You’ve always been amazing with numbers, so I think finance was a natural fit for you, but you didn’t love it. I don’t know what you really love in terms of an actual career path, but I do know that you’ve smiled more, been more excited about this job than I’ve ever seen you before. Who cares what the job title is.”
I take a big gulp of wine and stew on her words.
She’s not wrong. As much of a throwaway job as this was supposed to be, I’ve been a lot happier than I ever was at my old job.
Because of Ledger.
I want to believe he isn’t the sole reason I love this job, but I know he’s a huge cause of it.
“What if I look at job listings in finance and others like the one I currently have, but maybe with more responsibility and see if anything jumps out at me? I’m not saying I want to leave, but I can’t help feeling like I want to do more.”
“I still say you talk to Ledger,” she says into her wine glass.
“But what if an assistant is all he wants?” I whisper, scared to voice my fears.
“Then you know for a fact. If you don’t ask him, you’ll never know. Besides, it’s not like you have a solid plan for what you would ask for. What is higher than an assistant?” She ponders.
“Literally everything.” I laugh.
“Can I be super blunt right now?” she asks.
“Of course.”
“You’re shitting on your assistant job purely because of the job title. You feel like you should be ‘higher up’ which is why you feel this need to look for a job elsewhere. Do you like what you do?”
“Yes,” I say hesitantly.
“Do you want a different job?”
