Not that it would be an entirely bad thing if he did.
Apparently, my inner devil is a hussy for Ledger now, and I can’t even blame her.
I look around the room, marveling at how nice it is yet again, and then walk to the windows that overlook the strip.
It’s funny how your whole world can change in the matter of a few short months. In Austin, it felt like my world had imploded, and it left me without a sense of self. It’s scary as hell to be this age and feel like you’re starting over. And it’s even more difficult to realize the life you thought you were building wasn’t all that shiny when the sheen wore off. Hell, I didn’t even really have friends. Everyone I considered a friend bailed the second I was fired.
Coming back to Bluebell Falls made something click into place. I’m not quite sure what it is exactly, but I know Ledger is a huge component in it. Romantic involvement aside, the job he gave me means so much more than he’ll ever know. It gave me a chance to prove I was more than Austin, more than someone who got taken advantage of and never recovered.
My viewpoint of my life has been altered. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I know things with Ledger have some serious sticking power, but I’m scared shitless of that. I wasn’t lying when I said us working together was problematic for me. I just need to make sure I reinforce my boundaries and protect myself in case things go downhill.
“Hey.” Ledger’s voice startles me since I didn’t hear the bathroom door open.
“Hey yourself.” I don’t turn around, too caught up in my thoughts still.
“What has you thinking so hard over here?” he whispers.
I try to think quickly on my feet because I don’t want to dump my whole existential crisis at his feet right now.
“Just wondering about the sleeping arrangements,” I blurt out. Well, it’s not like we didn’t need to address it, anyway.
“Well, I was planning to take the couch and give you the bed, if that’s okay with you,” he says as he steps up to the window next to me.
Lights, as far as the eye can see, cover the street, and the reflection glows in his gaze.
“I think that’s probably a smart idea,” I whisper. I’m not sure if I really want him to sleep on the couch, but it definitely seems like the best option if I want us to stay on this slow path he suggested. Which I absolutely should want.
So why is it so disappointing to not be sleeping in the same bed?
“Well, I think I’m going to try to get some sleep since we have an early start tomorrow.” I spin around clumsily and smack my elbow into the glass.
“Son of a bitch!That hurt,” I hiss, grabbing my elbow.
“Oh shit, are you okay?” Ledger grabs my arm to try to look at it.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. It just hit that spot that hurts so damn bad.”
Weboth look at each other silently before bursting out in laughter. We laugh so hard, tears are streaming down my face by the time we both calm down enough to talk.
“I’m so bad at this,” I wheeze out.
“I think you’re doing pretty great, Ains,” he says softly.
We stare at each other for a long moment.
“I should probably get some sleep,” I mutter.
“Right, sleep. We definitely need sleep,” he says as he takes a step backwards.
I walk to bed, climbing under the sheets as he stands by the window, watching me. Once I’m settled, he walks about the room, grabbing the extra linens that got sent up at our request earlier and shutting off all the lights. I hear him shuffling around, setting everything up, and finally lying down on the couch.
The silence is both soothing and has me waiting for the other shoe to drop. The dichotomy of feelings has me on edge as I wait for his breathing to even out. I need to let out this tension that’s been building since that kiss, but I need to make sure he’s asleep first because I don’t need any more embarrassment in my life right now.
Five … ten minutes pass. Who knows at this point, but I finally hear the telltale signs of Ledger’s deep breathing.
An image of Ledger in nothing but a towel pops into my head, and I slide my hand down my stomach slowly until I find the waistband of my shorts. My fingers sneak underneath, trying to stay as quiet as possible. I slide my finger through the growing wetness there and move it back up to my clit, circling it as I remember the slightly curly hair that runs along his pecs and down his stomach to a delicious happy trail my mind is dying to explore.
I shift slightly, trying to give myself a little more room to work, as I dip back down to my arousal.
