“Why does everyone take advantage of me? What have I done to deserve all of this? I’ve put my head down, worked hard, never been problematic, so why does this keep happening?” I tell her, my voice quiet as the tears pool in my eyes.
“Oh, Ains. You don’t deserve it. What people do is not on you. It’s not your responsibility. People will always make selfish, stupid decisions, but it’s not a reflection of you. You are so good and so hardworking that people, especially at your last job, felt threatened. Now, I’m not sure what Ledger’s reasoning was, but I suspect there’s more to it. He doesn’t seem like the guy to just be an asshole for no reason.”
“He said he had a crush on me in high school, which makes me feel bad now that I think about it because I don’t remember him. And when we saw each other again, he just panicked and used his middle name. And he just kept going along with that decision.”
“Well, can’t say I saw that coming. Okay. I have some initial thoughts.”
“Hit me. I need all the advice you can give me because, Lark, I feel like I’m drowning here. I left Austin to get away from shit like this. And now, this combines my job with my personal life.”
“I hear you. I think the two situations are very different, though, even if they feel similar. Your dickhead co-worker in Austin used you as a stepping stool. It sounds like Ledger just made the wrong decision when it comes to a girl he likes. I’m not saying he was right in any way, but I don’t think he was trying to use you. He made a mistake, and now he has to live with the consequences.”
I think about what she’s saying. She’s not wrong. Even if it feels like the same thing, the two situations are very different. It still doesn’t feel good. It still feels like a betrayal, so it’s something I’ll have to work through with time, I guess. At the moment, I just want to drown my sorrows in a cooking show and some ice cream.
“Makes sense. I think it’ll probably take me a while to figure out how I feel about all of this, and shit, if I can continue to work for him.”Fuck, what if I need to find a new job? I actually like my job, and Ledger just ruined it in a ten-minute conversation.
“Don’t make any rash decisions, okay? Sit on it for a few days and see if you feel like you can still work for him. From what you’ve told me, you don’t really talk in person, just message each other? You might be okay with just limiting how you communicate and keeping it professional.”
“Good plan, Lark. Thank you.”
“You know you can always call me for whatever youneed.”
“I know—” I’m interrupted by a knock at my door. “Hey, someone just knocked. I gotta go. Love you.”
“Love you too. If it’s Ledger, don’t feel like you need to talk to him right away. It’s okay to set boundaries and tell him you’re not ready to talk.”
“I will, thanks.”
I hang up and take a peek through my peephole. What I find is not Ledger, but his same blue eyes are staring at me.
“What do you want, Rina?” I say through the door, not so much mad at her as I am tired of the entire situation.
“I messed up, and I just wanted to talk. I’m sorry, Ainsley.” She sounds sad, and it pulls at my damn naïve heart.
Unlocking the door, I hold it open for her. “I was just going to dig into some ice cream. Care to join?” I don’t want to be the person who holds grudges. I remember what Gavin told me:Make an effort to be the kind of person you want to be.The thought bounces around my head, and I realize I don’t want to be angry and pessimistic all the time. I at least want to give her a chance to explain what the hell happened.
She holds up a bag from the market in town, holding what looks like four pints of ice cream.Dammit, I’m supposed to be mad at her, but she’s hitting me where I can’t say no.
I wordlessly walk into the kitchen and grab two spoons as she follows me and puts two pints in the freezer after we pick our poison.
“I’m so sorry, Ainsley. I didn’t expect things to go like that. I shouldn’t have interfered.”
“Can I ask how you thought things would go?” I’m genuinely curious what she thought would happen.
“I thought Ledger would… I don’t know, pull his head out of his ass and come clean. He talked about you so much when we were in high school, this all just felt like kismet. I didn’t really think about how youwould feel, and I feel really, really shitty about that. He’s done so much for us. I just wanted to give him a little push to try to be happy. I didn’t take into consideration how it would feel to be on the other end.”
I get a huge scoop of ice cream in order to stall and get my thoughts together. I know her heart was in the right place. And I honestly don’t know enough about their family to judge their dynamic a lot. I just wish I wasn’t put in the middle of it like this.
“I’ll be honest. This whole situation sucks. I wasn’t expecting to be blindsided like that tonight.” That sad, dejected feeling still stings.
“I know, and it was super shitty of me to do. I just … wanted to help him if I could. And I had so much fun with you at lunch. I knew you would be good for him. I already got a tongue-lashing from Ledger about not meddling. I really thought I was helping. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not going to say it’s okay because it’s not. But I know you weren’t trying to be malicious about it. How about we stick to our friendship and no more sticking our heads into other people’s business?” I’m willing to give her a second chance because I know how it feels to never be given the benefit of the doubt, but I also need to protect myself a little here too.
She drops her spoon in her pint and holds her hand out to me. “Deal.”
I shake her hand and we both turn to watch the mindless cooking show I put on. We don’t talk any further, but we do finish our pints before she takes off to finish up some work.
“I really am sorry, Ainsley. I know it’s not my place, but Ledger is a great man.”
