“Do you want to sit down?” he asks, but I hear the uncertainty in his voice. He knows something I don’t.
I eagerly sit across from him, wanting straightforward answers. If this is Rina trying to throw us together, I don’t think I could be mad at her. It’s extremely sweet. But Dean looks beyond uncomfortable, so I’m not sure if this is just one big mistake.
“Umm, I don’t even know where to start.” He looks like he’s in physical pain, and it just amps up my confusion.
“At the beginning is usually a good start,” I offer.
“Rina set us up. She created a story—I’m assuming she did the same for you—and guilt-tripped me into helping her out.”
“Okay.”
I’m not really seeing the huge problem. Sure, she meddled, but I like Dean, so I’m not sure why it’s not a good thing—unless he isn’t into me.Oh God, he isn’t into me like I am him. That’s the problem here.
“I’m not Dean—well, I am; it’s my middle name—but my first name is Ledger, and Rina set me up so I would grow some balls and finally take the plunge with you, and now, I think … everything is ruined.” He says the last part on a whisper, but I can’t focus on the pained look on his face.
All I can feel are my ears buzzing like there’s static in my brain.
His name’s not Dean, it’s Ledger. And he was at the nursery, and he and Rina had that weird conversation without words, and Ledger is actually my boss. OH MY GOD, Ledger is my boss.
“Umm—”
“You both ready to order?” Kelly walks over with a giant smile on her face.
“Actually, could you give us a few minutes?” Dean—Ledger—says with a forced smile.
“Of course, just flag me down when you’re ready.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I lied about my name,” he rushes out as soon as she leaves.
“But you’re my boss,” I say dumbly.
He cringes. “Yeah, I am.”
“Why— I don’t understand. Why did you say your name was Dean?”
“Would it help if I said it’s a very long and embarrassing story?”
“No. It would help if you just told me the truth.” The facts are finally settling into my head, and I’m starting to get pissed. I’ve dealt with enough lies and bullshit behind my back recently.
“We went to high school together. Well, I was two years older than you, so I doubt you even knew me.”
“Rina is Marina Hutton. Holy shit, how did I not put this together?” I whisper as things finally start to click.
“Yeah.”
“What does high school have to do with any of this?” I wave my hands around frantically.
The apples of his cheeks turn bright pink, and I’d say it was adorable if I wasn’t so fucking mad right now.
“I had a huge crush on you in school. I was too chickenshit to do anything about it, so I just … didn’t. Then I went to college, you went to college, and I came back, but you stayed away. I had a lot of things happen in those few years that were my focus. When you came back, I thought it was this sign. I was so determined to not be the shy kid, the hesitant kid I used to be. But then I saw you, and it all went to hell. My brain blanked, and I panicked.”
I can tell he’s hopeful his explanation is enough to cancel everything else out, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.
“So, you panicked when you first saw me? But what about after that? I’ve had multiple conversations with you as Dean, and as Ledger. You had so many opportunities to tell me who you were.”
“I know.” He drops his head. “I messed up.”
“Yeah, you did.” I’m so enraged that I can’t even attempt to hide it. It’s not even about potentially liking him—whichever version he actually did let me see—it’s about the fact I’ve had to go through the lies and the deceit twice in just as many months. Why do people feel that it’s okay to lie to me? To not respect me enough to just tell me the truth?
