Me:
But logically, I’m not here to find a man. I’m here to get my life back on track. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m staying here permanently, so what would be the point of getting to know him better if I don’t stay?
Larkin:
There are a lot of what-ifs in there for just a crush. I think not focusing on the big picture might be good for you. You don’t need to have all the answers right now, Ains. You just went through terrible shit at your old job. It’s okay to just be in limbo and take the time to really think about what you want. If it’s this Dean guy, awesome, if it’s not, then that’s okay too. It’s okay to live a little and let loose.
I know she’s right, but knowing it and doing it are two very different things.
Larkin:
Tough love: I think you’re overthinking everything. This is your chance to really buckle down and find what makes you happy. Find your passion and do what you love. You’re getting a second chance to live life the way you want to, and that’s such a rare thing these days. Don’t getstuck on what youshouldbe doing. Do whatever you actually want to do. You know Mom, Dad, Theo, and I will support you, no matter what you do.
Sometimes I forget my sister is a social worker, but times like these make it clear she’s in the right profession.
Me:
I hear you. I really do.Howdo I figure this all out? How do I figure out what I want to do? I’m in my thirties. It’s not like I can go to the school counselor and do an aptitude test.
Larkin:
Write a list of things that you have loved to do at your job and things you hated. Send it to me, and we’ll go through each point and brainstorm ways you can turn that into a career, or at the very least, something to look into.
Me:
You are the best sister a girl could ever ask for, you know?
Larkin:
I know. You’re extremely lucky to have a built-in mastermind who figures out all the things and is superior in all the ways.
Laughter bursts free from me. She’s being sarcastic, but she’s not wrong. Larkin is one of the best people I know, and notbecause she’s my sister. She would do anything for the people she loves, and she’s proven that time and time again.
Me:
You were doing really good until then. The sarcasm just forces itself out, huh?
Larkin:
It’s like a default setting, I swear. I’m just glad I have you and Theo to let it out on because I’m pretty sure I would have been fired from my job years ago if I told parents what I really thought of them.
Me:
Too true. Well, I have to get ready for dinner at the ‘rents, but thanks for the pep talk.
Larkin:
Anytime, you know that. Seriously though, send me a list!
Me:
I will, love you!
Larkin:
Love you too. Tell Mom and Dad hi.
How our conversation turned into a soul-searching mission, I’m not sure, but she made some excellent points. It’s something to think about, but right now, I need to take a quick shower and change before heading over to my parents’ house.
