Confused, I watched him leave. Had I heard Wyatt and Roe wrong earlier? I didn’t have enough fucks to give to stress over it. I grabbed the bag and pulled out a large sketchbook, a pack of charcoal pencils, a pack of graphite pencils, and a pack of compressed charcoal. All were brands I preferred to use. There were also a kneaded eraser and a sharpener in the bottom of the bag.
I held the sketchbook to my chest and tried not to cry.
Chapter Six
Bram returned with two milkshakes.One chocolate and one strawberry. He had me try each to decide which I liked the best. My eyes went wide when I tried the first one he handed me. It was the chocolate one.
He smiled. “It’s good, isn’t it?”
I nodded. “It’s very sweet.”
He had me try the strawberry one next and it was very good. I even made ammmsound.
“Strawberry, huh?” Bram said, keeping the chocolate milkshake for himself.
“I really like strawberries.”
He took a seat in his chair with an exhausted sigh. I watched him as he sipped the chocolate shake. His brows lifted in surprised delight and he took another drink. “When it isn’t hard on you to talk, will you tell me other things that you like or would like to try?”
I nodded. Not wanting awkward silence to build between us, I turned the TV on, and that was how we spent the rest of our evening. Sipping on milkshakes while distracting ourselves with TV until sleep eventually took over.
The next three days passed in a blur. While Mac, Roe, and Wyatt were at school during the day, I’d watch TV with Bram or draw in the sketchbook Reid had pretended not to get me. When I would draw, Bram would go work on his bike I’d damaged in the garage to give me space. Roe, Wyatt, and Mac would visit with me in the afternoons. Reid would come to the house, but never came into the bedroom to see me. I would just hear that he was here.
I hadn’t really seen Vivian. Mac had explained that Vivian was giving me space with people I knew and felt safe with and giving Bram and me time to get to know each other. That she would help where she could in the background until I was ready for more. According to Bram, she had meal-prepped soups and other foods that would be easy for me to swallow. I was slowly starting to get my appetite back and everything she had made had been good.
Using Bram’s laptop, I had emailed Kendry Academy on Monday morning to inform them that I was very sick and would be out of school for some time. Then I went on to email my teachers for the daily assignments I’d miss. I had to ask Bram to purchase me a new textbook for my chem class because my other one was in my bedroom at home. That sucked. I wasn’t used to asking for money. Using his card, I paid for it online and Roe said he would pick it up from school for me today.
It had been five days since I’d come to stay with Bram. I was getting better physically. It was nice not needing anyone to help me to and from the bathroom. My voice was also sounding better. Mentally, I didn’t know how I was. I supposed I was better than I’d been Saturday. After the guys had brought me to Bram’s, I had been ready to end it all myself. If Roe hadn’t said he’d follow me, I probably would have. Sunday hadn’t been much better. Today was Wednesday and I hadn’t been thinking about how I should just end it all as much. The thought stillbuzzed in the back of my mind, though. To help quiet the noise, I’d draw. Right now, I was working on my fourth drawing of the place where I had planned on doing it—my exit from this hell. It was weird, I guessed, drawing the place you wanted to die. I didn’t expect anyone to understand. Not that I would tell anyone, either. It helped keep me here. It helped me find the strength to stay another day.
Sighing, I set my sketchbook and pencil aside. I knew I needed to rest so I could heal, but I hadn’t seen outside Bram’s guest room in days. I felt cooped up.
I got out of bed. The movement made me wince, but I pushed on. I got all the way to the door and stopped. The house was quiet. I was pretty sure Bram and I were the only ones here. Mac was still at school and had to work after. Vivian was also at work. She was a hair stylist at a salon. I poked my head out just in case. Right outside and straight ahead was a small hall that I now knew led to Bram’s office. To the right, another, shorter hall led to the rest of the house.
I decided to go right. I passed the stairs to the second floor as I walked into the living room. It was large and had vaulted ceilings. The front door was all the way to the right next to a big bay window. To the left was the dining room I had woken up in on Saturday. Next to the dining room was the entrance to the kitchen.
I went back toward the guest room and the hall leading to Bram’s office. There were two other doors in that hall. One was to a half bathroom that took up the space under the stairs with just a toilet and sink. The other door looked like it led into the garage, if the deadbolt was anything to go by. I ventured into Bram’s office. This time I took my time looking around. I realized the two wood and leather chairs in the guest room were from in here. I lightly touched the large Haven’s Rebels carving hanging on the wall. It was beautiful despite it being anintimidating-looking masked skeleton riding a motorcycle. The carver had etched even the smallest details into the wood.
I took in the many black-and-white photos on the wall next. Bram was younger in a lot of them. In a few, he had short hair and no beard. I found one where he appeared to be the youngest in the photo. Instead of his cut sayingPresident, he had a patch on it that saidProspect. In the photo with him were two other men, just as young, who also had Prospect patches on their cuts. I did a double take with one of the guys in the photo because for a second I thought it was Roe. After taking in more details, I realized it was a young Noble.
“I was your age in that photo,” Bram said, making me jump and turn. He was standing right behind me.
Grimacing, I put a hand over my bruised ribs. “I shouldn’t have come in here without permission.”
“You don’t need permission. You’re welcome anywhere in the house.” He smirked down at me. “I knew you’d venture out of that room when you got bored enough.”
I looked back at the photo. “What’s a prospect?”
Bram stared at the photo. “It’s what you are when you want to join an MC. It’s kind of like pledging to a sorority or fraternity. There’s some hazing and you’re treated like an errand boy. You do it to prove yourself to the club and after about a year they decide whether you can become a true member.”
That was interesting. “You pledged—I mean prospected with Noble?”
“I grew up with Noble and Kyle—he’s the other guy in the photo.” There was a little bit of sadness in his eyes as he spoke. “Our dads were members. It was expected we’d join the club, too.”
I didn’t touch the dad subject. I knew Bram’s father hadn’t been a good man. “Were you three friends growing up?” It made me think of Roe, Wyatt, and Reid.
“They were my best friends.”
I frowned. “You still seem close with Noble. What about Kyle?”
