‘Don’t worry,’ he says, sensing my worry. ‘I’ll stay behind my pillow wall tonight.’
‘Really?’
He nods. ‘I sense you’ve been badly hurt in the past and I’m not going to rush you.’
Relief floods through me.
We change into our pyjamas in separate rooms. Once finished we get into our respective parts of the bed either side of the pillow wall. ‘Have you seen Alfie today?’
‘I saw my little boy earlier,’ he gushes. I can hear the excitement in his voice. ‘Rory was at work.’
‘How was he?’
I hear him chuckle. ‘Kept showing me his new truck. We played with his toys for ages.’
Hearing this makes my heart swell. ‘That’s nice.’
‘It is different when Rory isn’t there. I can relax and focus on Alfie.’
I position my pillow next to the wall. ‘Alfie is your priority.’
‘I never feel like I am a good father to him.’
‘You’ve moved here to be close to him. You do bedtimes, bath times and you play trucks. You talk about wanting to share your life with Alfie. That’s the important stuff.’
I can feel him edging closer to the pillow wall. ‘Yes, you’re right.’
‘You could have stayed in London.’
‘I know. I need to stop getting triggered by Rory.’
I pause and wonder whether I should say what’s on my mind. Taking a deep breath, I decide to go for it. ‘Think about Alfie. He doesn’t need arguing adults around him. Kids pick up on that sort of thing.’
He goes silent for ages, and I nibble on my thumb. Have I said the wrong thing? I’m about to open my mouth when he says, ‘You’re right. I should think of Alfie.’
I smile at the pillow wall. Oliver might be starting to listen to me.
‘Shall we talk about?—’
I interrupt him. ‘John and Mary.’
He chuckles. ‘Okay. John and Mary have been meeting in the private communal garden to kiss after dark. John is falling hopelessly in love with Mary.’
‘Really?’
‘As I’ve said before, she’s different. One night, under the light of a silvery moon, he begs her to tell him her secret. At first, she remains guarded and tight-lipped.’
‘That’s how she’s survived,’ I whisper into the darkness.
Oliver pauses and then continues. His voice softens. ‘She says to John, “There’s something I need to tell you. I’ve lied to everyone here.”’
I gasp.
‘“They think my wages are for my mother,”’ Oliver says in Mary’s voice. ‘“But it’s for my boy. If I’m lucky, I see him once a year. He’s growing and I miss him. I can’t go back as I have nothing to offer him.”’
‘How does John react?’
‘He cups her cheek with his hand and says, “You’ve carried that alone?”’
