He nods and casts me a worrying look as I act like I’m a secret vampire who’s been out in the sun too long and needs to return to darkness.
36
It’s still light when we climb into bed in our pyjamas.
‘Hello,’ Oliver says from behind the pillows. The sound of his voice makes my heart beat faster. I think he’s facing our makeshift wall. It gives me a rush of tingling sensations.
‘Hello.’ I am pressed close to the pillow wall.
‘Have I said anything wrong?’ he asks.
‘No.’
‘Nelly, you’re like a medieval castle with a moat and a huge drawbridge. Most of the time, I feel as though your drawbridge is up, and you’ve filled your moat with man-eating crocodiles.’
His analogy makes me smile.
‘I sense you’re keeping something from me.’
I flinch and turn my head away. My defences rise. I don’t want to ruin a good evening by talking about my curse. That would kill the mood. It would also mean the end of us, as he’d see me as a freak or a witch.
‘Can we not talk about this?’ I need to focus on something else.
‘Sure.’ His voice sounds upbeat. ‘Ask me anything?’
I think about the photo of the little boy. ‘Is that Alfie in the photo over there?’
‘Yes, that’s him with his favourite teddy.’ I notice the lightness in his voice when he speaks about Alfie.
‘I see there’s a photo of you and Jamie.’
He chuckles. ‘Younger and fresh-faced versions of me and Jamie.’
‘How did you meet?’
‘We went to school together – Jamie, Rory and me.’
‘Oh.’
‘We all go back a long way. That’s why it hurts so much with Rory. He was my best mate. We’ve been through so much together. He knew what I went through with Molly. When Molly and I broke up, he made a move on her.’
He goes quiet for a while. I don’t say anything.
‘When I see him with Alfie, it makes me so cross.’ His voice has a firm edge to it.
‘That must be hard.’
He rearranges his pillows. ‘I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by the two people who once meant a lot to me.’ I hear him let out a heavy sigh. ‘I worry about Alfie picking up on the atmosphere when I go over there.’
‘How’s Rory towards you?’
‘He keeps trying to take me aside and talk things through. I have nothing to say to him, and he can stop advising me on my son.’
I’m sensing that Rory is trying to make peace with Oliver.
‘Maybe you should talk to him?’
Oliver scoffs. ‘It would end up with me punching him.’
