‘Darren and I broke up,’ she says, inspecting her leopard-print nails. ‘I wanted an open relationship.’
‘Oh.’
She casts me a wry smile. ‘Why stick to one man when you can have several? I love dating and I am meeting so many new people.’
I let out a silent groan. I will struggle to cope with the constant flow of strangers in this flat if Francesca moves in.
She runs her hand through her long black hair. ‘I’m on social media a lot, so I do Insta Lives and TikToks. My followers are all night owls like me. I am hoping to go on TV soon.’
‘Oh – what sort of TV?’
‘It’s a new show calledNaked Island.’
I gasp. ‘Naked what?’
With a flick of her hair, she giggles. ‘It’s where a group of hot people live on this luxurious island, but the twist is… no clothes are allowed. It’s filmed day and night. Oh, and if I’m successful, I won’t be wearing clothes in the daytime.’ She smiles. ‘I will need to practise.’
‘Interesting,’ I say, crossing out her name. The last thing I need when I walk through my flat door after a hard day at the bookshop is a naked Francesca wandering about.
After a few questions, I bring the interview to a close. ‘I’ll be in touch about the flat.’
Once Francesca has gone, I make myself a cup of coffee and confide in Lenny. ‘She needs to live by herself. I don’t think we would have made good flatmates.’
Steve is the next person on my list. He’s in his mid-thirties, wears a shiny grey suit, and is an amateur magician in his spare time. When I read his flat-sharing profile, I thought he sounded interesting, and he could show me a few magic tricks.
As soon as we are seated, he pulls out a pack of playing cards. ‘Pick a card, Nelly. Any card.’
His card trick is unconvincing and fails because he guesses my card incorrectly. An awkward silence follows. I remind myself that his one saving grace is that he redirected himself to the sofa when I warned him about my chair.
I start to interview him. ‘You’re a magician in your spare time. What do you do for a living?’
‘Accountant,’ he says. ‘I wish I could cast some magic over some of my clients’ figures.’
‘What do you do in the evenings?’
He scratches his bald head. ‘Practise magic tricks.’
I think about the disappointing card trick in the hallway. Maybe he needs to practise cards more.
‘Do you do magic shows?’
He nods. ‘Yes, I have a weekly show.’ I watch as he pulls out a gold coin. ‘Watch this coin disappear.’
His trick doesn’t work, and I guess which hand he has the coin in. We both find interesting things to look at on my wooden floor to avoid eye contact.
‘My assistant has left, and I have a vacancy if you’re interested,’ he says after a lengthy silence. ‘You would help me behind the scenes and allow me to saw you in half.’
‘No thanks, Steve.’ The words shoot out of my mouth. Considering his dreadful tricks, I wouldn’t want him coming anywhere near me with a saw.
I ask him whether he likes cats. ‘I do,’ he says, giving Lenny a stroke. ‘I need to make you aware that I work with a live dove. She lives at my mother’s house; however, there are occasions when I get home from a show, and I’m too tired to trek over there, so I stick the dove in the bathroom overnight. Does your cat like birds?’
‘He watches them out of the window. He’s an indoor cat so I don’t know whether he would know how to hunt.’
I cross out his name. The last thing I need when I’m desperate for a wee in the small hours is for a mad dove to be flapping around my head while Lenny makes unsuccessful attempts to catch it, knocking over everything in the process.
Steve shrugs and brings out his cards for the second time. ‘Pick a card.’
After another disastrous card trick, where he attempts to slide my card into his suit sleeve but fails, causing it to fall to the floor, he then asks if I want a coin trick, which I decline. He subsequently tells me our flat share wouldn’t work and leaves.
