‘Accountant,’ he says. ‘I wish I could cast some magic over some of my clients’ figures.’
‘What do you do in the evenings?’
He scratches his bald head. ‘Practise magic tricks.’
I think about the disappointing card trick in the hallway. Maybe he needs to practise cards more.
‘Do you do magic shows?’
He nods. ‘Yes, I have a weekly show.’ I watch as he pulls out a gold coin. ‘Watch this coin disappear.’
His trick doesn’t work, and I guess which hand he has the coin in. We both find interesting things to look at on my wooden floor to avoid eye contact.
‘My assistant has left, and I have a vacancy if you’re interested,’ he says after a lengthy silence. ‘You would help me behind the scenes and allow me to saw you in half.’
‘No thanks, Steve.’ The words shoot out of my mouth. Considering his dreadful tricks, I wouldn’t want him coming anywhere near me with a saw.
I ask him whether he likes cats. ‘I do,’ he says, giving Lenny a stroke. ‘I need to make you aware that I work with a live dove. She lives at my mother’s house; however, there are occasions when I get home from a show, and I’m too tired to trek over there, so I stick the dove in the bathroom overnight. Does your cat like birds?’
‘He watches them out of the window. He’s an indoor cat so I don’t know whether he would know how to hunt.’
I cross out his name. The last thing I need when I’m desperate for a wee in the small hours is for a mad dove to be flapping around my head while Lenny makes unsuccessful attempts to catch it, knocking over everything in the process.
Steve shrugs and brings out his cards for the second time. ‘Pick a card.’
After another disastrous card trick, where he attempts to slide my card into his suit sleeve but fails, causing it to fall to the floor, he then asks if I want a coin trick, which I decline. He subsequently tells me our flat share wouldn’t work and leaves.
My final candidate is called Paula. She’s in her mid-thirties, single and a DIY enthusiast.
‘I love doing up old buildings,’ she gushes as I show her around the flat. ‘This place is perfect. Would the landlord mind if I stripped all the kitchen cupboards and repainted them?’
‘You could ask him.’
She grins. ‘I am getting excited already. This place has so much potential.’
We sit down for the interview, and like the others, she goes to sit on my chair first. ‘That’s my chair,’ I say, feeling agitated.
She smiles and runs her hand over the wooden arms. ‘I will do wonders with this tatty old chair.’
Her words are like stinging drips of hot fat on my skin. ‘It’s not a tatty old chair.’
She ignores me and carries on gazing at it. ‘When I have finished with this chair, it will look amazing.’
‘You’ll not be touching my chair.’
Paula sits down on it and screws up her face. ‘Oh, God, it’s saggy.’
Anger ripples through me. I’ve had enough of this. ‘Get out.’
‘What?’ She looks horrified.
‘Please leave. The interview is over.’
When she’s gone, I sit in my chair, and Lenny jumps onto my lap. I stroke him and try to ignore my financial worries. Picking up my phone, I open Facebook and click on Cynthia’s page. Perhaps I should consider working for her? I know the thought makes me uncomfortable, but this is a worrying situation. I could work after the bookshop has closed. She’s currently hosting a Facebook Live event for her followers, so I log in to it. She’s at her magic table, selecting tarot cards. ‘Pat from Huddersfield,’ she says, looking directly at the camera. ‘Someone is returning from your past.’
Behind her, two young children are arguing. She tries to explain to Pat from Huddersfield, who I assume is on Facebook Live, why the person is returning from the past, but is interrupted by a child’s scream.
‘Sorry about this,’ she says and turns around. ‘Lance – stop hitting your brother, and Vincent – stop kicking or I’ll put you in a field and feed you carrots.’
