“Well, you don’t need any more because of me. Can you scoot out from the wall and turn just a little bit? I promise I will try not to hurt you.”
The anger mixed with her own dose of despair tore at me as it had in seeing her at the whipping. I was reminded once again she was so innocent, vulnerable and sweet, and daring to destroy that goodness within her would be the final nail in a coffin leading me straight to hell.
Using her fingers, she gently applied the salve, taking her time. Even with her touch being light, my cock was already rock hard. I wanted so much to ignore all the reasons that I shouldn’t touch her. I wished that I could shut off the desire that I had usually fed with female flesh, indulging in the passion I required.
But this wasn’t anything I could control, a mere whisper of time that could ultimately destroy her.
For the first time in my life, I cared about what happened to someone other than my family.
“What did your father say to you?” I asked. Her bitter laugh only fueled my fury.
“He giveth and he taketh away. He told me my request to go to the university in Paris where I’ll study art and design was approved. Then he reminded me that I was nothing but a possession. That’s fine. Once I’m free of this place, I will obtain my education. Then I will disappear.”
“This is your home, Rafaela, and family is important.”
She softened, finally finishing. “I know, but I can’t and won’t live like a prisoner. I’m sorry. That was rude.”
Just being able to touch her was both a pleasure and a crime. I rubbed my dirty fingers across her jaw, noticing the same connection we’d shared from minute one. When I dared roll the tip along the seam of her mouth, she parted her lips. The moment and her gesture were far too inviting.
When I curled my fingers, she sensed I was shutting down.
“I brought some food. Try and eat something.”
“I will.”
As she pulled out a few items, I returned to leaning against the wall. “I’m going to need to develop a plan to escape.”
“I know. I drew a map for you and put some money in the envelope. I don’t know where you can hide it, but it’ll show you the most vulnerable place on the estate. If you can breach the wall, you should be able to get a water taxi that can take you to a boat. From there, I’m certain you’ll be resourceful.”
“Rafaela. I can’t take your money.”
She curled her legs in front of her after preparing the feast, rolling her eyes as she did. “I save every euro given or earned and have for years. You’ll need the money to be able to get away. I brought a few tools. Maybe you can carve the mortar from the old cinder blocks. They’re chipped anyway.”
Her idea was a good one.
“You’re an angel. Don’t do anything that will endanger you. I understand you’ve lived this life, but whatever is going on, your father is pushed to the wall. I am worth more alive than dead.”
“I won’t, but you can’t stay here. Your family must be looking for you.”
Briefly, I closed my eyes. “I don’t know at this point. I truly don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,malen’kiy tselitel’. You’re risking your safety for me and it’s something I’ll never forget.”
“I wish you could take me with you. We could escape the night of the party. Together. I could get a job and maybe eventually go to a university. Anywhere really.” She pinched her face, briefly glancing away. “I know. A fantasy that can’t be fulfilled. I’m just a girl.”
Fuck. This wasn’t planned and couldn’t happen.
“You’re very much a woman, Rafaela, but Moscow is not your home.” She was getting too close. Too close. There had to be some sense of decency left in me because I had to find a way to protect her if only from herself.
“Moscow. I’ve always wanted to go to Russia. I hear it’s beautiful this time of year.”
As I picked at the food, I thought about her offer, but not about taking her with me. The retaliation from doing so given I would be at my weakest would prevent me from returning to business. Even if the desire for her was building. And even if she could be used as a weapon to destroy her father and everyone else involved.
Yes, the idea was tempting. Of course it was.What the fuck are you doing? Are you prepared to make her your wife?
The question brought a smile and one too many memories. No, I was not. However, the timing and the event could be perfect.
