Or my mind, for God’s sake.
Kazimir pulled me closer; even standing, the crushing weight and heat created a tremendous pool of wetness between my legs. With my core throbbing, the temperature well over a thousand degrees, breathing was an impossibility.
His huge hand slipped under my hair, his muscular fingers tightening around my neck. I was going nowhere. Yes, a part of me wanted to push him away, to tell him I didn’t need him, but the attraction was real and raw, painful and amazing.
The way his tongue dominated mine was just as amazing as the moment itself. He tasted of liquor and peppermint, the combination intoxicating. I found myself enjoying his passion, even sliding my hand over his shoulder. The first feel of his thick hair was another reminder of the intensity of what we’d shared.
He wasn’t interested in letting go, holding me as if he never planned on doing so. Finally, I pressed both hands against his chest, fighting with myself to shut down the crazy desire. When our lips parted, I felt a huge sense of loss. Struggling to breathe, I licked my bottom lip.
Trying to regain focus while he kept his head lowered, every rattled breath he took a reminder just how electric our connection was.
“Kazimir. We can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t know me any longer.”
His chuckle was laced with the same hunger. The same need to control me. “I know all I need.”
While he tilted his head, obviously unhappy I’d dared fight him, he took a step away, allowing me some breathing room.
There was no way to ignore him or the emotions running deep, the hunger turning my blood into molten lava.
I felt lightheaded, consumed by guilt for so many things. Plus, there was anger, so much rage that he’d suddenly made a reappearance in my life. Why now? To derail me? To stop me from moving forward?
With dozens of questions running through my mind and none of them finding enough coherence to leave my lips, all I could do was stand and stare at him while the entire club around me circled as if we were on a tilt-a-whirl ride. My pulse had skyrocketed, tiny beads of perspiration tickling my upper lips and an entire string running down my back.
Kazimir also appeared smug, more so than before. Perhaps because he’d returned to full control of his life. The dangerous aura I’d experienced before was now on steroids. From his clothes to his facial expressions, and even the scent of his expensive aftershave, wealth and power oozed from his pores.
“How? When? Why now?” I couldn’t even tell if he’d heard me because of the intensity of his dark stare.
His eyes were like pools of glass, much icier than before. He also appeared hardened, even angry with me. For what? I’d done nothing.
Not really.
Not because I’d wanted to.
Panic settled in, enough so Golden started whining. To ground myself, I pressed my hand against her head, but even the feel of her fur wasn’t helping in the least.
“We will talk,malen’kiy tselitel’.”
Little healer. “Don’t call me that, Kazimir. I’m not that girl any longer. I couldn’t even heal myself. I don’t know what I expected,but not you showing up out of the blue. Not hiding in plain sight at my spring fashion show. Why were you in my apartment?”
He was the master of many things, including hiding all his emotions. There was no twitch, no indication that my words bothered him in the least. He was the coldest man on the outside I knew and all the memories I’d had seemed to fade.
“I wanted to ensure you were alright.”
God, I wanted to scream at him. How could I be alright?
His answer meant he was still hiding things from me. Plus, his expression said otherwise. “As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. But I can’t do this. Not again. I was told you were dead. I heard the gunshots. I was there after you left. I overheard guards talking about what… About what they did. Yet here you are.”
I could feel my body swaying, beginning to overheat. I couldn’t take this. I had to find a way out, to get the hell away from him to figure this all out.
Claustrophobia clouded my vision as another wave of anger shut down my heart.
“I’m not dead.”
The three little words were said with no emotion. Did the man actually think they would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I glanced at my fur baby and back to him. “I’m glad you aren’t. Now do me a favor and get the hell out of my life.” With a tight hold on the leash and no way to get past Kazimir’s huge hulking body, I turned toward the crowd and where I knew the bathrooms were located, pushing and shoving my way through.
