“That’s because you got old, cranky, and boring,” Holden said from behind. He stepped around me and joined the circle. “I would pretend to be hurt, but I don’t care if I’m anyone’s favorite other than my wife’s.” He gripped my shoulders and gave me a shake. “How’re you doing, Griff? Is it good to be home?”
“Should James really be carting his baby around already?” I asked my dad.
“He’s been cleared to use the carrier,” Dad said.
“Seriously?” Holden said. “You’re going to give me the cold shoulder?”
I dug a finger in my ear. “Can y’all hear that? There’s an obnoxious buzz in the background. Or maybe I’m hearing… dead people?”
“Wow.” Holden let out a short, humorless laugh.
“What’s going on?” Dad’s gaze ping-ponged between Holden and me. “I mean, I get why you’re upset with Ford?—”
“Hey.” Ford frowned. “I was just trying to help his wife live her dream.”
“Sure you were,” I said.
“Holden?” Dad asked.
“Who’s Holden?” I asked. “I don’t know anyone by that name?”
Holden pursed his lips. “I think he’s mad that I gave Juliette legal advice,” he said, no guilt, no apology.
“On how to divorce me,” I huffed.
“What?” A vein in Dad’s forehead tried to explode. “Holden? Why would you do that?”
“Because she asked me to.” Holden shrugged like he didn’t know what the big deal was. “I didn’t fileforher. I simply told her the basics.”
I glared at him.
He cocked his head. “I also hoped that if she told him she was thinking of getting a divorce, it would light a fire under him. And look—” he gestured at me, “—he’s here. You’re welcome.”
I slow-clapped. “Your little scheme worked. Too well. Because yes, I’m here. But my wife actually filed for divorce. So thanks for that.”
Holden blinked.
“It’s not Holden’s fault Jules wants to divorce you,” Ashton said. “You know that, right?”
“Oh-kay.” My nostrils flared. “I officially strip you of the title Funcle. It now belongs to Blue.”
Ashton muttered something under his breath. But Blue did a small touchdown dance. Technically, he was my cousin by marriage slash brother-in-law. But I was out of uncles, so he’d have to do.
“So Jules wants a divorce,” Ford said simply. “What’re you gonna do about it?”
They all perked up, mouths twitching to fire off advice they’d been saving up since I left.
I held up a hand. “I’m gonna stop you right there. This—” I pointed to them one by one, “—is not an intervention.” They all went wide-eyed and innocent. Dad included. “Yeah. That’s right,” I said. “I know how this family works—meddling and conniving and then acting shocked when it goes your way.” I cut my eyes at Ford.
“I mean, it’s worked every time so far,” he said.
My fingers flexed. “Well, I don’t need the come-to-Jesus y’all think you’re about to give me. The complaint for divorce I was served—at work, no less—did the job. I know where I went wrong, and I’ve already hit reverse.”
“Good for you.” Dad clapped my shoulder. “But maybe since we’re older and we’ve lived more life?—”
“No, thank you.” I shook my head. “I know how to win my wife back.” Total lie. I knew nothing except that I was going to figure it out. Giving up Jules was not an option. “So you can spare me the lecture. Also, before you ask…” I folded my arms across my chest and raised an eyebrow. “I’m not telling you my plan because it’s nunya.”
Bowen chuckled, but everyone else looked confused.
