“Hey, are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?” I asked.
She shook her head, but she didn’t move. Then a tear escaped and another. She wiped them away, trying to hide the fact that she was crying. Oh man.
I pulled her into my arms. “Do you want me to stay?” My heart went wild in my chest.
She nodded, her head on my shoulder, arms locked around my back.
“Okay.” I swallowed, already regretting this. “Are you wearing your bikini bottoms underneath those shorts?”
She nodded again.
I stepped back just enough to undo her drawstring, fingers shaking. Easing the fabric down her thighs sent a sharp heat through me. I peeled off my shirt in one quick motion and dropped it on top of her shorts, then stepped into the shower, guiding her in after me.
The water hit us, soothing and warm, and it nearly undidme being in there with her. As water ran down her shoulders, her stomach, her cleavage, she was somewhere far away. Meanwhile, I was nowhere buthere.
Focus, moron. Focus on her. Not her body.
I had to get her to snap out of this state.
“Is it okay if I wash your hair?” I asked.
She nodded just barely, her hands resting on my sides.
I poured an ample amount of shampoo into the palm of my hand. Then I worked it into her hair with my fingers.
As I massaged, her shoulders relaxed, and she closed her eyes. I, on the other hand, was coming apart.
But I was determined to forget myself and take care of her. So I kept going, massaging slow circles at her temples, her crown, the nape of her neck. I shifted her so she was directly under the water. She tipped her head back, letting the water run down her hair. Her neck begged me to kiss it. But I didn’t. I just squeezed her hair until it ran clear, drinking in her beauty. Then I repeated the process with the conditioner, every second stretching into the cruelest kind of torture.
I grabbed the body wash, my chest tight, unable to fully exhale, and started at her shoulders. Every pass of my hands over her skin pulled at something I was trying very hard to ignore. I focused on steady breaths, pretending this wasn’t breaking my self-control apart. But it was impossible. Especially when she turned and lifted her hair so I could wash her back. Man, that back. My gaze fell on the hook of her bikini top. Like I was locked in a staring contest with the devil himself, I couldn’t look away.
What was wrong with me? I’d turned her down at the restaurant, and now, in a moment when she was completely vulnerable, my thoughts were running rampant, like I’d forgotten all the values I’d been raised on.
I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed it out, trying to calma lifetime of dammed hormones.I want a love like my parents. A love like my parents. A love like my parents.
Then I knelt to scrub the dirt from her calves. But that put me at eye level with her bottom. So I slid around to her front side, looking for somewhere safe to avert my eyes. Okay, that was worse.
Her stomach could be safe. Nope. It was so flat and smooth, it took everything in me not to press a kiss over her belly button. I glanced up to see if she was doing any better, but her eyes were still closed, her expression blank.
I had to get my crap together.It’s just a body. Everyone has one. Pretend it’s someone you’ve never even thought about.But I couldn’t. Just being next to her unraveled me. Why had I agreed to do this? Absolute masochism.
Finally, I was done with her legs. I popped to a full stand, and that’s when I noticed the shower was helping. Her eyes were still closed, but her breathing had slowed to normal. Apparently, we’d traded lungs, because mine were hitching all over the place.
“I think you’re clean,” I said, fingers locked straight at my sides.
Her focus snapped back. “Oh…I’ll do your hair,” she said in a hush, some of the light back in her eyes.
“Okay.” I gave her a small smile, afraid that if I showed too much emotion, it might spook her and send her spiraling again. I tipped forward so she could reach the top of my head. But she never made it to the shampoo.
Her fingers curled in my hair and she pressed a soft kiss to my crown. “You saved me.” Another kiss. “You saved me.” Another. “You saved me,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck, her chest flush against mine. Oh, good grief. “You could’ve died,” she whimpered. “But you jumped in and saved me anyway.”
“Hey,” I soothed, rubbing her lower back. My entire bodyshook from the intensity of my heartbeat. “You’re safe now. Of course, I saved you. What did you expect me to do?”
She pressed her cheek to mine. “I need to confess something. Something I’m not proud of. But I don’t care. Even if it’s selfish, Ineedto tell you.” She paused like she was waiting for me to askwhat,but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t even breathe. Finally, I got out a grunt.
“As you were calling my name,” she whispered. “All I kept thinking was, I want that voice to putmeto sleep every night.Iwant to have his babies and sign my name next to his on the mortgage. Not his stupid wife.” She squeezed my shoulders, almost a shake. “That’s why I fought. So I could steal you like some common criminal.”
