You reached down in my soul
and rearranged me.
From your first breath, until my last
So many regrets, a life gone too fast
You're the center of my world
Daddy loves you, baby girl
The first time that I saw you,
I stared down at your sweet face
Wrapped your little hand in mind,
my world shifted into place
If I was granted just one wish, I swear
I'll watch over you,
I'll always be there.
Oh, you changed me.
You reached down in my soul
and rearranged me.
From your first breath,
until my last
So many regrets,
a life gone too fast
You're the center of my world
Daddy loves you, baby girl
Gracie's eyes were closed by the time I finished, and I carefully slipped off the bed and turned off the light, after making sure the nightlight was on. I shut the door quietly behind me, and turned to go down the stairs, only to find Allie standing outside the bedroom door with tears streaming down her face.
"Allie, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling her into my arms and moving down the hall towards our bedroom. I was panicked at the thought that she'd seen something else online that had upset her.
"That song..." she said, sobbing against my chest. I sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling her down into my lap, rubbing my hands up and down her back. I sighed heavily, knowing this conversation was going to be rough.
"I wrote that song the night of Alex's funeral," I confessed quietly. "The video he made for you two was so incredible, and the part about loving Gracie from her first breath until his last stuck with me. I went home that night and wrote most of it, combining his words with my feelings the night she was born. The guys helped me polish out the rough spots a few days later. I sing it to her sometimes when I'm putting her to sleep."
She sobbed harder against me, and I felt like shit for upsetting her so much. "I'm so sorry, Allie. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll stop singing it if you want."
She clung to me even tighter. "No, it's beautiful. Please don't stop singing it." Her words were muffled against my shoulder, her voice shaking with the emotions running through her. After a few minutes, she pulled away and grabbed the box of tissues from beside the bed.
"Are you sure you're OK with that, Sunshine?" I asked, stripping off my tear-soaked T-shirt and tossing it into the hamper in the closet. I pulled another one off the hanger and slipped it on, as Allie walked into the bathroom. I walked over and leaned against the open doorway, watching as she splashed water on her face and patted it dry. She looked at herself in the mirror, grimacing at her swollen eyes and blotchy skin. Glancing over at me, she gave me a soft smile and nodded.
"Yes, it's beautiful, and I love that you gave her a little reminder of Alex's love to soothe her to sleep, even if she's too young to know it." She walked over and wrapped her arms around my waist as I pulled her in close for a hug. I dropped a kiss on the top of her head, and we stood there for several long moments before she stepped back with a smile.
