Chapter 14: Liam
Nico
I am not a happy fucking camper. Allie has apparently been dating again. That in itself would be bad enough, but she's been dating again and hadn't fucking told me. We're best friends, and spend more time together than some married couples I know, and she didn't think to fucking mention it?
I knew she had gone on a couple of random dates back when we had been away on tour. She had told me about them at the time, and it wasn't a big deal. Meeting for a drink, meeting for a quick lunch, nothing hot and heavy. She was lonely, and it was more for companionship. She wasn't anywhere near ready for a relationship at that time. It had been way too soon after Alex passed.
Truthfully, I wasn't completely ready for a relationship back then either, but I'd definitely considered trying with her in the future, which was more than I had ever considered with anyone else. But now...now she was actually dating. Like, going on romantic dinner dates and sending her flowers the next day kind of dating. And she hadn't told me, Tony had.
Tony had just assumed I knew, so he hadn't said anything to me about it until all hell broke loose this morning. Allie had taken Gracie to the dentist for a routine cleaning, so she was out of the office for the morning. Michael had called a quick meeting to have us go over the last of the paperwork from the record label to finalize the release of our album next month. Josh and Tony were already there when Matt and I walked in. As soon asI'd entered their office suite, I saw a huge fucking bouquet of red roses waiting at Allie's desk, with a card from some asshole named Liam.
Yes, I read the card. No, I shouldn't have. Yes, I did it anyway.Liam.Shit, he sounded like a hipster prick who wore slouchy beanies year-round, and dark-rimmed glasses even though his eyesight was fine, just because he liked the look of them.
"I had a fantastic time last night, babe. I hope you got some rest after I left. Talk soon, Liam"
I'd felt my heart stop, then start with a kick as my pulse started to race.Just how fantastic was it, Liam? Did she let you kiss her? Did you touch her? Did she let you fuck her??? She'd better not have let you fuck her, Liam, or it might be the very last thing your little pencil dick ever does. And just for the record, Allie fucking hates roses! If you were good enough for her, you'd fucking know that, you stupid piece of shit.
I can't believe she let him in her house. The pain in my chest was intense, as I wondered what the fuck they'd done that she needed to rest after he left. I can't believe this is happening. Not my Allie.
After I'd kicked a hole in the wall of Michael's private bathroom, for no reason any of them could fathom, a bewildered - not to mention pissed off - Michael had suggested I go for a walk around the block and cool off a little. Tony had followed me out.
"Hey man, slow down," he'd huffed behind me. I had flipped him off over my shoulder and kept on moving.
"Hey!", he'd yelled as he caught up to me, grabbed my arm and whipped me around. I had my arm up, fist clenched, and just stared at him for a long moment before slowly lowering it.
"Calm down, before you end up in the tabloids again. You know those bottom-feeding paps are just jonesing to get a photo of you doing something stupid. And just to make it perfectly clear, taking a swing at me would be really fucking stupid, my friend." Tony was a couple of inches shorter than I was, coming in right around 6'1", but my muscles weren't quite as bulky as his were, so it wasn't an idle threat.
"Sorry, man, I'm just..." I'd trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say. I hadn't told any of them how I felt about Allie, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. If I told them, it would be too easy for it to get back to her. Shit, I guess didn't have to worry about her not being ready for a relationship anymore. I just had to worry that she didn't want that relationship to be with me.
"It's not serious, you know." he had said quietly. At my questioning look, he continued "The thing with Liam, it's not that serious. She's only gone out with him three times."
"And you know this how?" I'd asked icily, as the realization had started to form that he'd already known about Liam, that she had shared this with Tony, and not me. She had chosen to go to Tony over me. So, not only didn't she want a relationship with me, but she also didn’t even want to fucking confide in me anymore???
He had looked around uncomfortably, then said in a low voice, "Look, man, let's go back inside. The sidewalk isn't the place for us to have the conversation I think we're gonna have." Fuck. That didn't sound good.
We had walked back inside, and Michael had been waiting impatiently by the door. Before he could say anything, Tony told him we needed to use his office for a bit. Michael had eyed us warily, then agreed, provided Tony didn't let me kick a hole in anything else in there. I wasn't making any fucking promises.
Now, as Tony closed the office door behind us, I made my way over to the window and looked out. I wasn't really focusing on anything. I just didn't think I could look Tony in the eye if he was about to rip my heart out.
"Come on, Nico, have a seat. It's not what you're thinking."
I whirled around to face him. "And just how the fuck do you know what I'm thinking?"
"Dude, you aren't nearly as subtle as you think you are. You've been hot for Allie for years, and it's getting worse. You can't keep your eyes off her, you spend all your time with her, hell, you practically live with her and Gracie. What I can't figure out is why the fuck you've never told her how you feel. It's clearly driving you insane to think she's with somebody else, so why didn't you fucking step up, you dumb prick?" His voice got steadily louder as he spoke, until he was almost yelling the last few words.
I couldn't say anything for a long moment. "She wasn't ready," I whispered, turning back to face the window.
"What?" he asked, coming closer so he could hear me.
I cleared my throat, "She wasn't ready. At least, I thought she wasn't ready. She loved Alex with all her heart. You know how fucked up she was when he died, man. Then we got closer, just as friends, you know? And then I went from thinking she was sweet and pretty and fun to be around, to wanting herso fucking much I can't even look at another woman without picturing Allie. I love her, and I want a life with her, and with Gracie, but I was giving her time, dammit," my voice hoarse with the strain of not screaming.
"I thought she still need time to heal and be ready for something more and I didn't want to fuck up our friendship by pushing too soon. And now -" I stopped, suddenly too choked up to speak, "now there's some fuckwad named Liam who slid right passed me without me knowing a damned thing about him, because she confided in you instead of me."
"Look, Nico," he paused, "she's not serious about this guy. She's dated some other guys over the past few months but - "
I whipped my head around to stare at him, not believing what he just said. "She's what?" I croaked out.
"She's had a few dates, never went out with any of them more than once, never did anything more with them than a kiss goodnight."
