“I’m sorry that you went through that.”
“Anyway, this is the long route to telling you why my favorite meal is bittersweet, and I don’t mean the malfatti.” She paused. Swallowed hard. “The morning after my graduation, I heard my mom and grandma arguing. My grandma said that they should spend more time with me. Then my mom said that she’d never meant to have a baby.”
I never asked for that to happen. I didn’t want it to happen.I love my daughter, but settling down with a husband and child was never how I wanted to live my life.
“That morning answered a lot of questions for me. I walked into the room where they were arguing. Turns out, my dad was in there too. He hadn’t said a word. I guess he didn’t want me either.” She shrugged. “My parents pasted smiles on their faces, kissed me goodbye, and left that same day.”
Zach rested his hand on hers briefly. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I know I said that already, but it’s true. I wish it had been different for you.”
“Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if they’d stayed home and taught me what they knew instead of dumping me in a retirement community with my grandma.” She cleared her throat. Tried for a smile. “At least they taught meenough to be a good food writer. And their good genes gave me one thing that is essential for being a food critic.”
“What’s that?” A line appeared between Zach’s brows.
“No food allergies.” A genuine smile bloomed as he laughed, though the ache in her heart stayed sharp. “Enough of my family drama.”
“Trust me. I know about family drama.” Zach stood. “Let’s walk.”
“Your family seems perfect. There are so many of you.” She’d felt nothing but love from them as she’d seen them interact with Zach while she’d been here.
She’d give anything to have that kind of belonging.
It was getting really hard to hold on to a grudge against Ava Harper. And he no longer wanted to.
Her vulnerability in talking about her parents, her gentle teasing of him, even the times when she challenged him, were sculpting her into a very different person than he had imagined her to be all these years.
The bitterness of coming in second that he’d tried to hide was fading like a bad aftertaste. He still had plenty of time to wow Anne Green and Paul Hawkeye. He would focus on making their presentation at the charity competition the best it could be.
Zach led Ava through the French doors from the patio. Overhead, the chandeliers sparkled. “When I was a kid, this whole hotel used to be our playground. My parents owned it together.”
Did he really want to drag this history up? The words burst out of him after being dammed up for so long. “My dad burned this place down.”
Ava stopped. “I’m sorry. What?”
He turned and faced her. A stabbing sensation hit him between the shoulder blades. “My mom cheated on my dad and then married that guy here at the hotel. My dad got drunk and accidentally set the hotel on fire. That’s why they’re making so many repairs. My sister Dani just got permission to rebuild it a year or so ago.” Her mouth dropped open. “See what I mean about family drama?”
“But I met your dad. He’s here. On the island.” A line formed on her forehead.
He sighed. “Yeah. It’s complicated. He’s been living in Florida and running a hotel empire, but I guess he wants to make amends or something. Maybe it’s something he learned in AA.” Zach shifted his shoulders, but the ache between them held on. “We don’t talk much. But this week he kind of tried to rekindle something. I don’t know. It was weird. He hasn’t tried to contact me in the past several years, but now he wants to chat?” Maybe he should have heard him out.
Ava began walking again. “That is complicated. You should give him a chance, though. I mean, he’s your dad. The only one you’ve got.”
He thought briefly of Uncle Bryan. His dad’s brother had been a stable force in Zach’s life, kind of like a surrogate dad at times. But she was right, he only had one father. “You’re probably right. But it’s hard to get started.”
Their talk had brought them through the main lobby and to the kitchen, as though his feet only knew one way to travel. He pushed open the door to the renovated kitchen. When he’d been here to cater Dani’s wedding, this part of the hotel had still been very much under construction. He whistled. “They’ve made a lot of progress since I was here in April.”
To his left, ranges and ovens filled the wall, and to the right was the wash station. Shelves lined the other walls. In one cornerwere the doors to the walk-in cooler and freezer. Stainless-steel workbenches marched down the center of the space. Two stools rested near the sink area.
“Growing up, this kitchen was rarely empty. My love of food began here. I worked here through high school. There was a sense of belonging, of being on a team.” He led her to the stools, then pulled them up to the nearest workstation. “One time my senior year, when the restaurant was closed, the chef said I could cook my family a meal as long as I cleaned up after myself. It was probably the most fun I’ve ever had. I spent a week designing the menu, then all day preparing it.” He jutted a thumb over his shoulder. “The family gathered around the table out there, and I served them.”
“That sounds like a lot of work.”
“I was exhausted the next day, but that night was exhilarating. The looks on their faces were worth it. I’d never seen Mom look so proud, except maybe when I brought home straight A’s. I knew that night I never wanted to do anything else.” He braced his hands on the countertop, the stainless steel cool under his fingers. “Making good food for people you love is a kind of satisfaction you can’t find anywhere else. The camaraderie you find in a kitchen is also unique.”
“Your dedication to it shines through in your dishes.” Ava sat on a stool and rested her elbow on the workbench.
“One of the reasons I’m here is to try to land a new job. I’m so ready to get out of Chef Louie’s kitchen. I want to cook in a place that matters, that values its staff. Preparing someone else’s recipes—and not even very good ones—for the snooty Chicago crowd Escargot draws in…” He shook his head. “Anyway. Enough about me. I have a thought about the competition.” He stood and began pacing.
Ava crossed her arms. “Shoot.”
