“She is.” Safe is a relative term, but Celeste has nothing to fear from my friends, other than perhaps becoming overwhelmed by their tomfoolery. However, she seems to be more comfortable with them every day. And since we’ve been with them, they’ve shown themselves to be just as protective of her as I am. Even Lysander has taken to tucking little sentinel mushrooms into pots around the house “to keep Celeste safe,” despite his mother’s warnings not to touch the tiny fungal guardians and the nips he’s received from them. My friends would never allow harm to come to her—even if she wasn’t capable of defending herself, though I’m coming to trust that she is, now that she’s growing stronger and her magic is returning.
Sidney declared that tonight is “girl’s night,” and male presence isn’t welcome. Celeste was intrigued by the mentions of “a belated bachelorette party” and “giant margaritas,” even though she had no concept of what those things are. So while I still had to fight my discomfort at leaving her without my personal protection for the evening, I trust her to know what she is comfortable with and I’m only a portal away if they need me. I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to catch up with Grandmother Zdenka over tea.
She scans me with a critical eye as she blows gently across her steaming cup before relenting. “I trust your judgment, dear one.” She tries a sip and presses her lips together—still too hot. “You know… It will be a few years yet before you receive your next jurisdiction assignment, but once you do, I can ensure you receive Dry Gulch, if you desire.”
She waits for my response, but I give her none, choosing to listen instead of imposing my own will. If it were up to me, I would still be assigned to northern Seattle and would simply open a portal there whenever I was needed, but that isn’t allowed. The Elders dictate that we reside in the area we are assigned to so that we know the community we serve, and Grandmother has no say in that. She is an elder but not anElder. And while I firmly believe that our preferences have value, sometimes we need to compromise for our family units or the greater good of everyone. This is one of those times. I will do whatever she requests.
She sighs. “Though I don’t understand it myself, I know you must be put out about being unable to stay in your beloved Void city any longer, and I feel that your deference in the matter deserves to be rewarded. I would like to give you your choice of whatever Boundlands assignment would please you when it comes time. If you feel some affinity toward this Dry Gulch…” She taps her finger against her cup in thought, a shrewd expression overtaking her features. “We do have a holding out that way, but it’s higher up in the Ardac Mountains, and the population centers have shifted away from its location over the last few thousand years. If you can find land close enough to the city to be useful, but far enough to not be living on top of the mortals day in and day out, I will provide you with the funds needed for an estate there.”
I lower my gaze to my own tea to keep her from seeing how much this interests me. She probably already knows. She always knows.
If I were to have my choice of anywhere in the Boundlands, living near my friends would certainly be preferable. I have the rest of my life to explore various cities and new places, but I only have so much time with the mortal people I love. I press my fingers to the sides of my teacup, focusing on the warmth of the porcelain as I think.
When Elara bought the property to build their house in the desert, it came as a parcel much larger than she needed. The seller refused to divide the plot, so she bought all of it. I know she would allow me to purchase several hundred acres from her if I wanted, no questions asked. I could see if I can find my own parcel nearby, but if not, there are multiple areas of her holding that could accommodate a small estate of an acre or two, easily. I give my grandmother a single nod to show I agree.
She blows on her tea one last time before taking another sip. “An estate,” she reiterates. “Please don’t put the princess up in one of those dreadful apartments, Victor.”
I quirk my lips to smile at her. “I rather enjoyed my apartment.”
“You’ve already scandalized the royal family enough, I think,” she tells me dryly. “Housing theprincessin anapartmentin inner Dry Gulch would surely do them in. Please be good.”
My lips twitch again, but I have no desire to scandalize anyone simply for the sake of it. “Yes, Grandmother.”
Thestarsaretwinklingin the evening sky when I step through the portal to return to Levi and Elara’s home. I give a nod to Huck as I pass him on the path to the back of the house. He huffs a kerosene-scented breath at me from where he lies with his head poking out from behind Elara’s potting shed. He’s no longer small enough to effectively hide behind it, but he doesn’t seem to realize that. He returns his focus to what the girls are doing in the garden, and as I round the shed to see for myself, I have to stop in my tracks to take it in.
For starters, all three girls are on the ground in various states of disarray, and Elara is the only one wearing any clothes. I approach Celeste, who is lying under the trees a short distance from the other two, drunk in the moss—antlers, wings, and breasts out—giggling to herself as she stares up at the leaves and sky.
Elara, though fully dressed, is sitting in the dirt, dressing some of the little mushroom sentinels in tiny outfits and trying not to get bitten. Her hair is a veritable rat’s nest of tangles, the tiny chains she always wears in it hanging helter-skelter as she works to get a tiny piece of clothing to stay on a mushroom creature that has no shoulders or arms. It’s just a stem with some black, beady-looking eyes and a red and white mushroom cap. But then she snatches her hand away from it and shakes it out as if she’s been bitten, so it truly must also have a mouth.
Sidney is naked and also sitting in the dirt, but this isn’t unusual for her. There are several empty bottles of ready-to-drink margaritas from the Void laying next to her on the ground, all plastered with black and white stickers that state in bold letters, “FOR ANAL USE ONLY”—also not necessarily unusual. Jordan and Levi have been placing them on each other’s things for years, but I’ve always suspected Sidney was the instigator there. This only deepens my suspicion. Sidney and Elara are debating the profitability of selling lingerie versus costumes, but Elara is paying more attention to the mushroom outfits than to the debate.
“Hey, Grim’s here.” Sidney’s speech is slurred enough to make me do a double take. She can drink an orc under the table, and I’ve seen her do it. I start counting bottles, not coming up with enough to account for how much she would have needed to drink to actually get drunk. Unless the other two girls are lightweights… which… they are.
“I need the name of that tailor lady who made the spicy lingerie for Celeste,” Sidney says. I do a triple take, feeling my cheeks heat. Celeste told them about that? “I bet we could sell that shit like hotcakes down here!” Sidney continues, turning to Elara to return to their conversation. “I could set up shop with the desert people and sell lingerie to goblins.” She picks up a half-empty bottle of watermelon-flavored booze and holds it toward me. “Come sit with us, Grim. My brothers smuggled in my favorite margarita mix for us. It’s so good.”
I blink at her. “Uh, one moment please,” I tell her before walking over to lift my wife into my arms first. I brush the dirt and moss from her shoulders and back as I carry her toward the other girls. Her wings are as much of a mess as Elara’s hair, and I don’t dare try to sort those out on my own. I’m surprised to see them out in front of the other girls, but then I’m surprised to find her naked too.
“Doveling, why are you naked?” I ask as I work to clean her off.
Celeste ignores my question, beaming at me beatifically before giggling and telling me how handsome she thinks I am. She reaches out to pet my cheek with gentle pats.
“Oh! That’s—hic—that’s my fault,“ Sidney says, still with a hint of a slur to her words. “I got in a fight with this guy who was digging through Elara’s trash.”
Immediately on high alert, I hold my wife closer, pulling the darkness of the night to me and scanning the yard with my magic to feel for anyone who could be a danger to Celeste or my friends.
“It wasn’t aguy.It was just a regular old raccoon,“ Elara puts in, clearly exasperated but still not concerned enough to look up from her work.
Finding no one in the yard but us, I release my magic and stare at the two of them, completely lost.
Sidney is undeterred. “Well, I could have sworn it was a shifter—“
“I told you it was a regular raccoon. I canfeelpeople’s magic, Sidney. Youknowthis,“ Elara interjects huffily.
Sidney continues cheerfully without missing a beat, ”—but it really was just a regular raccoon!Anyway, it got a hold of my leg and wouldn’t let go, so I shifted forms to get away from it, right? And then, obviously, I was naked when I shifted back,“ she says, gesturing to her entirely nude body. “But then the raccoon ran off with my clothes, and it was too much trouble to chase him down.”
I narrow my eyes at Sidney. How much has she had to drink that she was unable to catch a raccoon carrying clothes? Or fight one off, for that matter? I’ve heard stories from Jordan of her taking down grown male trolls. And what does this have to do withmy wife’snakedness? “And Celeste…?” I prompt when it becomes clear she isn’t planning on further explaining.
She finally remembers the point of her story, saying, “Right, so Celeste didn’t want me to feel bad about being the only one who was naked, and so she took off her clothes, too.”
