“All right.”
I wait until he pulls away before I release the hefty breath holding in my lungs.
Mira St. James is the last person I expected to see today. It’s been months since I ran into her at Piper’s Pizza. We shared a pizza that afternoon and chatted like two people who’ve known each other all their lives. We just made certain to keep things superficial and not dig too deeply into anything other than Lolly and pleasantries.
I hate that I love her. I hate it so much that sometimes I think I hate her. There are moments when I tell myself that I’m goingto move on—that I’llfinallyfind someone else to love, to have a family with, because there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that we’ll ever be together. But as soon as I get close to another woman, I do what I always do. I put a little space between us, leaving room … just in case.
Just in case Mira ever comes home.
“Fuck.” I throw open my truck door and take off my hat, tossing it onto the passenger’s seat. The sun beats down on my head, but there’s something about the heat that feels purifying.
I climb into the truck and start the engine. Cool air races across my sweaty skin, causing me to shiver. As I put the truck into drive, my brother’s name flashes across the navigation screen.
“Hey, Gray,” I say after accepting the call. “What’s going on?”
“Headed to the Royals facility. I have a meeting there in an hour. You?”
“Sitting in my truck right now. Just sent Bobby into town for supplies. We’re fixing up Betsy Barn.”
“No shit.”
I grin. “No shit.”
Out of all the outbuildings on Blackbird Ranch’s five hundred acres, not one has more lore than Betsy Barn. It was the premiere party spot back in the day. Ol’ Betsy Barn saw more underage drinking and bonfires than any place in Sugar County. It’s also where one of our friends lost the title to his car in a poker tournament during Gray’s senior year, where I had my first kiss with Mira in the loft, and where Brooks hid out when he ran away from home.
We thought we were so slick back then—like we were really pulling off stunts in secret. Now I realize that Dad knew all about them. Most of them, anyway. He just thought we were safer if we acted up at home rather than on the roads or around people who could take advantage of us.
“I love to hear it,” Gray says. “What brought this on?”
“We need more space. We have shit everywhere, and the disorganization is making me crazy. I figured I either had to tear Betsy down or fix her up, and I don’t have the heart for the first.”
“You always were a baby.” He chuckles despite ribbing me. “No, really, I think it’s a good thing. It’ll be nice seeing her take on a new life.”
I take a breath, deciding whether to tell Gray about Beardsley or not. Typically, I wouldn’t bother, but now that he and Astrid are living on the ranch in the offseason, it only feels right to loop him into things like this—things that would ultimately affect him, too.
Before I can get the words out, he speaks again.
“I called you for a reason,” he says, pausing to take a deep breath. “Astrid and I sat down last night and had a long talk. And … yeah. I think it’s time to hang up my rugby boots.”
“You’re retiring?”
“I’m filling out the paperwork today. I’ll finish the season out, but then that’s it.”
Retirement?I smile, running a hand over my jaw. I expected a reason for this call because Gray doesn’t call to chitchat.But retirement?That’s unexpected. “Congratulations, Gray. You’ve had a helluva career. You should be proud.”
“Oh, shut the hell up.” He chuckles, unable to take a compliment. “Astrid wants to renovate the cabin and live full-time on the ranch, if that’s okay with you. We want to settle down and raise a family.”
The corner of my mouth lifts. “This is your home, too. You don’t have to ask my permission.”
“Well, I know it’s my home in that I grew up there, but it feels like it’s yours. You’re the one who has busted his ass for the last eight years to keep things running while I ran off with a ball. You have every right to tell me to kick rocks.”
“I don’t really want Mom to haunt me, but thanks.”
Our chuckles are soft, mixing in reverence for a woman I know we both miss more than we’d ever admit.
I smile as I drive out of the field and onto the dirt road that winds through the ranch. I can imagine Mom’s reaction to Gray’s news. She would’ve been thrilled to hear him say that he’s settling down—her wild child finally finding peace. And she would’ve been over the moon to hear about talks of grandkids.
The thought of my parents missing out on this stage of life hurts. I think about them a lot. But, then again, I’m surrounded by their life in every way that matters. My home was theirs. I work the same land my father did, and the men who I sign checks for once answered to him, too. There’s not a corner of my life my parents didn’t touch, and for a long time, that brought me peace.
