It might not be for the right reasons, and it might not even be real, but for the next twelve months, I’ll be in her orbit. And that’s enough.
It has to be.
“Yeah,” I say, giving her a steady smile. “I guess we’re getting married.”
She nods and turns toward her car. I grab the banister and watch her climb in and reverse away from the house.
I don’t breathe again until her taillights are out of sight.
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
Mira
“Hey, Cathy,” I say, slowing to a stop in front of Hartley’s house. “I haven’t forgotten about the garden.”
“Sure, you haven’t.” She smiles, wiping her hands on a towel thrown over her shoulder. “I’m surprised you’re still in town. Is Lolly okay?”
Geez. “Yeah, she’s fine. I just …” I narrow my eyes to try to determine whether Hartley told her our news or not. By the concerned look on her face, I take it that he hasn’t. “I might be around for a while.”
“Oh, that’s great. Come by, one of these days, and I’ll make you a pie.”
Cathy, I fear that we’ll be seeing each other more days than not very soon.
“Where are you headed?” she asks from the porch.
“Hart said he’d be out at Betsy Barn most of the day, so I was planning on going out there. Unless he’s not there.”
She shakes her head. “As far as I know, that’s where he is. Tell him that I’m heading into town to grab some things fordinner and some apples for a new counter cake for the week. His lunch is in the oven.”
“Will do. See ya, Cathy.”
“Bye, sweetheart.”
I press the gas and put some distance between myself and Cathy.
“Okay,” I say as I take the dirt road toward the back of the property. “This is getting real-er.” I pause. “More real. Real-er. Whatever.”
I didn’t fall asleep until the sun started to rise. My brain needed at least two hours to replay my interaction with Hartley a hundred times, and then another two to rethink every word, breath, and insinuation that came from Lolly’s mouth. By the time I finally closed my eyes, I’d talked myself into exhaustion.
Waking up was a wild ride. I jumped right back on the Ferris wheel of panic, although it was moving a little slower this time.
Betsy Barn stands in the distance, the weathervane at the top whipping in the wind. From the hay loft, you can see across the back acreage of Lolly’s land. Hartley and I used to sit up there to get away from Gray and his friends, and I’d almost always catch him looking forlornly over the creek.
I love the idea of helping him get it back. That means a lot to me.But marriage?Marriage is a huge sacrifice to make. It means …staying. Committing. Accepting that my wants, needs, and whims aren’t the only deciding factor in decisions. That’s terrifying. I told Lolly that I wanted that eventually,but was that the actual truth?I don’t know. The idea of giving myself to someone that fully—handing them the ability to leave me brokenhearted—makes it hard to breathe. I’m not willing to set myself up for that level of loss again.
But if all it got was Hartley’s land back into his hands, I’d do it. God knows he’s done enough for me over the years.
“Hey,” I say once I’m stopped next to his truck. The breeze blows through my open windows, delivering the sweet smell of spring along with it.
He moves slowly from the barn toward me. “Hey to you.”
“Did you wake up this morning feeling like you had a hangover?” I ask, climbing out of my car. “Or was that just me?”
He removes a pair of brown gloves and tosses them on the hood of his truck. “I halfway didn’t expect to see you today.”
“You know, I get it. I’m not often here for many days in a row.But damn. Everyone acts like they’re surprised that I didn’t vaporize during the night.”
