But I've learned what real connection looks like. Ethan is open in a way Brody never was. He doesn't perform or strategize. When he's angry, he says so. When he's happy, it shows on his face. When he tells me he loves me, I believe him without question.
There's no subtext to decode or ulterior motive to uncover.
We pull up to the five-star hotel where Brody is staying, and he hands the keys to the valet before coming around to open my door. His hand settles on the small of my back as we walk through the lobby, and my skin crawls at the possessiveness of the gesture. I want to shove him away, but I keep my composure. I can tolerate thirty minutes.
We sit at a corner table, and Brody orders coffee for both of us without asking what I want. It grates on me, but I let it go because it doesn't matter. Nothing he does matters anymore.
“Thank you for agreeing to talk to me,” he says once the server leaves. “I know I don't deserve it.”
“You don't.”
He ignores my sharp tone. “Natalie, I know I hurt you, and I can never take that back, but I’m working on myself. I’m even reading books about emotional intelligence and healthy relationships. I'm not the same man who hurt you.”
He’s really good at this, except there’s no comeback from cheating. It doesn’t matter whether all of what he’s saying is true. The fact is that he broke my trust, and that cannot be earned back. But I’ll let him have his moment.
“What I did was unforgivable. I destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me because I was selfish and stupid and I didn't appreciate what I had.” His eyes grow wet. “You were everything, Natalie, and I threw it away for nothing.”
The tears start falling, and I realize I'm unmoved. A year ago, those tears would have devastated me. I would have reached across the table and taken his hand and told him we could workthrough it together. But sitting here now, all I see is a man I used to know. A stranger wearing a familiar face.
“My mother is so disappointed in me,” he continues, wiping his eyes with his napkin. “She loved you like a daughter. When she found out what I did, she didn't speak to me for a month. She said I was a fool.”
“She was right.”
“I'll move to New York, if that's what it takes.” The words tumble out of his mouth in a rush. “I'll relocate, find a job here, and start over. We can take it slow. I won't pressure you. I just want a chance to prove that I've changed.”
He reaches across the table and tries to take my hand. I pull back.
“There's someone else, isn't there?” His jaw tightens. “That's why you won't give me another chance.”
“My reasons are my own.”
“The man on the phone. That's who it is, isn't it?” Brody’s eyes narrow into slits. “He doesn't know you, Natalie. Not the way I do. He doesn't have our history.”
Thank God.
“Does he know you're a people pleaser who bends over backward for everyone else's approval?” Brody's voice takes on a cruel edge. “Does he know that underneath all that sunshine, you're terrified of being abandoned?”
The words slice through me, leaving a trail of pain. Until I remind myself that I’m not that person anymore. I’m surrounded by people who love me and whose love I don’t have to earn.
His face transforms again. “I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have said that. I just get so frustrated because I know you. I know what you need. And no one can give that to you like I can. No one can make you happy the way I did.”
“Are you done?” I ask him in a cold voice.
He nods, uncertainty drawn on his face.
“You’re right about one thing,” I say. “I was a different person in Charlotte, and she’s gone.”
Brody snarls. It doesn’t affect me in any way.
“I know my worth now, and I refuse to settle for a man who does not respect me.” I keep my voice calm and even. “What happened between us is over, Brody. It's been over since the moment I walked into our bedroom and found you with someone else.”
“It was one mistake.”
“It was a choice. You chose to betray me, and now I'm choosing to move on.”
He slumps back in his chair, the fight draining out of him. For a long moment, neither of us speaks.
“I really did love you,” he says quietly. “I still do.”
