I rub my hand over my face, sitting on the side of my bed. Losing my lucky pants is messing with me more than I admitted to Taryn. She was already feeling guilty enough, and what is done is done. It’s not like she could have unwashed my pants, right?
A knock on my door pulls me out of my mini meltdown. I haven’t told anyone about what happened with my pants. My teammates rib me mercilessly about my smelly lucky pants, but I know they’re just as superstitious as I am. If they knew, they’d freak out just as much as I am, whether they wanted to admit it or not.
“Hey Tuck,” Mack stops on the doorjamb. “Aren’t you coming to Vaughn’s?”
Heston bought a bunch of chicken he’s apparently been marinating since yesterday, and he’s making a pre-game lunch for the whole team.
“No, thanks. I’d rather take a nap.”
“You sure? He bought a BBQ and everything; he’s grilling on his deck.”
I’m pretty sure that using a BBQ within campgrounds is prohibited by the housing rules, but I don’t say anything. Since I’m keeping Baety in flagrant violation of said rules, I don’t have a leg to stand on. “If the whole team goes down with salmonella before today’s game, I don’t think there’s going to be a place far enough on earth for Vaughn to hide from Coach.”
Mack’s face falls. “Do you think that’s a real risk?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh.
Vaughn isn’t a bad kid. He reminds me a little of myselfbefore I started paying attention to the consequences of my own actions. He just has way more money, so he doesn’t just come across as a jackass; he has a healthy dose of arrogance to go with it. But he’s skilled on the ice, and he could be one hell of a center if he grew up a little. “Look, I don’t think he would give the whole team food poisoning on purpose. Just make sure that chicken is fully cooked before you eat it.”
“Maybe I’ll just fill up on salad and then get something quick to eat before the game.” Mack looks worried now.
“You never know. Knowing Vaughn, he probably hired a private chef to prep and grill that chicken, and he’s just showing off.”
Mack runs a hand through his hair. “I hope so. Are you sure you don’t want to come? Having you there would be good for team morale.”
“Thanks, man. But I’m a little tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” I don’t tell him that I was tossing and turning, worrying about the loss of my lucky pants. “Just tell Vaughn that it’s nothing personal. I’d rather sleep than eat right now.”
My teammate’s shoulders sag for a second. “Ok. But it won’t be the same without you. I hope you know that the team looks up to you, Tuck.”
Mack closes the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Again.
I know my teammates look up to me. And I also know that since our team captain Luke graduated, Coach will be naming a new captain this year. If you had asked me about it a few weeks ago, I would have thrown my hat in the ring. But lately, I don’t know if I have the qualities to lead the team. Besides, it would be for one season only. MaybeCoach Harrison would be better off choosing a junior so he would have a captain for two seasons.
Once I hear the front door close, I lean against my pillows and try to relax. Baety is tucked into her dog bed on the floor and looks way more peaceful than I feel.
With my eyes closed and my body stretched on the mattress, I wait for sleep to come.
Of course it doesn’t.
My brain is racing, thinking about everything I’ve done today so far. It’s important to remember everything in case we win tonight, so I can pinpoint another potential lucky charm.
I had a protein shake first thing after waking up, and then after morning skate, I had a toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese, scrambled eggs, turkey sausage, and a side of fresh fruit.
The next hour was spent catching up on the game tape I missed watching yesterday to go to dinner at my parents’. I fed Baety and cleaned after her, and sent Taryn a text even though I know they have practice and she probably won’t see it until they break for lunch. My own lunch was a simple PB&J on whole wheat bread.
I’ve never been one of those players who take a nap before a game, but I thought I’d try it out rather than joining my teammates for Vaughn’s BBQ.
If I hung out with them, I know I would crack and tell them that my lucky pants have been washed. Finding a new good luck charm is as important as keeping the news that I lost my foolproof one from my teammates. I’m already shaken enough without the added responsibility of causing them distress.
Fuck. I think this pre-game nap thing is a bust. There’s nothing worse than laying in bed wide awake when you’resupposed to be sleeping. The more I think that I should sleep, the more my brain won’t stop racing.
Maybe I should try some of the relaxation techniques my mom swears by. As a shift worker, she has to adjust her sleep patterns to the hospital schedule.
Thinking about my mom was a mistake, though. Sometimes I fucking hate my brain. I thought about how hard she and all her fellow nurses work. From there my mind went straight to Taryn. Her degree is in nursing science. That intrusive thought led me to think about Taryn in a nursing uniform. At first, I pictured her in scrubs, but then my treacherous mind swapped the scrubs for a white lab coat. Not one of those lab coats doctors, and sometimes nurses, wear.
My imagination put Taryn in a short, white dress that barely covered her toned thighs. The dress is closed by buttons in the front and the first two or three are undone, giving a perfect view of Taryn’s gorgeous tits.
“Fuck.” I cover my eyes with my forearm. Now not only am I wide awake, I’m so hard it hurts.
