As I head into the shower, another idea hits me. Maybe I should tell the guys about this. About everything. Telling Jodie about the texts helped me feel better. And can I have areal relationship without them knowing what brought me to Star Cove?
Telling them is risky. They could decide to go to the cops or they might be disgusted by my actions and want nothing to do with me. The truth is that if the roles were reversed, I would want them to be totally honest with me.
It’s a risk I need to take if I want a relationship based on honesty.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CONNECTIONS
NASH
I’m a fucking mess.
Since the night in the laundry room, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Taryn. She’s on my mind every waking moment, and when I crash at night, exhausted by a whole day of training and practice, she’s the star of my dreams.
She isn’t just beautiful. It’s all the little things about her that make it impossible to get her out of my head. The way her lips curl when she smiles, how her hair always smells like strawberries. Her laugh that lights up her whole face. The way she feels in my arms, soft and warm and all mine.
But the truth is that she isn’t mine.
I don’t have any trouble guessing what she was doing in the changing rooms with Colsen the day of the photo shoot. The same thing she was probably doing with Colsen and Tucker when we went clubbing.
Our coaching team was clear that the only relationship there should be between hockey players and cheerleaders is a professional one. We can look friendly during photoshoots and at fundraising events like tonight’s, but when the cameras are off, we aren’t allowed to mingle.
Breaking their no fraternization policy can cost us ice time, but can cost the cheerleaders even more. They’ll be asked to leave the team if they’re found in breach of the no fraternization rule.
When I fucked my entire season last year in Hemlock Beach, I had no idea that the woman I took home from a bar was my coach’s new wife.
That’s what made being benched and shunned by my teammates so unfair. If I had known who the hot blonde was, I wouldn’t have even looked at her.
With Taryn, things are different. I know what’s at stake if we get involved and we get caught. We both have everything to lose. And that’s without even taking Colsen and Tucker into account.
It isn’t just selfish of them to put Taryn’s spot on the Shooting Stars at risk; they’re fools if they think their plan to share her isn’t going to blow up in their faces.
Sharing her might be hot now, but what are they gonna do when feelings deepen and they’re gonna feel possessive?
Their friendship is at stake, and so is their game. If they think that fighting over the same woman isn’t going to affect the team, they’re even more clueless than I thought.
Adding myself to this already fucked up dynamic would be the stupidest thing I could do.
And yet, it’s all I’ve been thinking about in the last couple of days. For the sake of kissing her again, of having her in my arms, of hearing her little throaty moans when she comes, I would risk everything.
My self-control is hanging by a thread.
How beautiful she looks when she enters the functionroom of the Country Club does nothing to improve my state of mind.
I can’t take my eyes off her. The struggle to keep my face schooled into an indifferent expression is real.
As Taryn walks past me with her arm linked with her best friend Jodie’s, I greedily look my fill.
Her short pink dress highlights her curves in an elegant and yet demure way. Long, wavy hair falls down her back, and I know just how silky it felt when I ran my fingers through it.
Her makeup is subtle, highlighting her pretty features rather than trying to change them. Taryn’s legs are shapely and look endless in a pair of pink heels that match her dress. But it’s the graceful way she moves that makes it impossible to look away, even though I know I should.
“You know how women call hockey games the boy aquarium?” Vaughn stops by my side, leaning against the long marble bar where I just ordered the only light beer I’m gonna allow myself to drink tonight. “Nights like tonight are the equivalent of that for us. When women get all dolled up, they look fucking fantastic. Especially cheerleaders, who are already prettier than average. I love looking at them and deciding who I’m gonna take home tonight. What do you think we should name parties like this one? The girls’ boutique? The girls’ market?”
I glare at my teammate. Coach was clear that wearing suits was mandatory tonight, and while most of us went with the ones that were provided to us by the team, Vaughn Heston is wearing something that clearly costs more than most people’s monthly salary.
“The girls’ market?” I bite out. “What are they, cattle? You know, Heston, you’re a talented center. And I know that under all that douche-bagger-y you can be a decentteammate, and I’m pretty sure a decent friend. First off, don’t get caught calling this party the girls’ market, or the only company you’ll end up having tonight is gonna be your hand. Besides, lower your voice. Coach is right there next to the mayor and Brett Bergen, and the cheerleading coaches are making the rounds talking to all the sponsors’ reps. If you have to score a hookup for later, be smart about it and don’t get yourself benched and the lucky girl kicked off the team. And I hope the drink in your glass is soda water, since I know you aren’t twenty-one yet.”
